


Thursdays With Peter

by Sandylee007



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-07-16 14:05:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16087631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: AU WITH NO SUPERHEROES OR SUPER-POWERS             Unbeknownst to most, Tony Stark spends his Thursday afternoons visiting a hospital's children's ward for charity. One Thursday he meets an eight-year-old named Peter Parker. The boy ends up changing him and his life forever.               POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH                    ALSO POSTED BY ME ON FANFICTION.NET





	1. We Smile For the Camera

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Thursdays With Peter](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/419636) by Sandylee007. 



> A/N: I was supposed to type something else entirely. BUT, something was nagging at the back of my skull. And THIS, is what came out. (chuckles)  
> DISCLAIMER: I… own… nothing. OH, how I’d LOVE to own something that’d give me the chance to meet Tom and Robert. Buuuuut, nope. (pouts) Oh, and the title of this story IS based on a book, in case anyone’s wondering.  
> WARNINGS: Feels… Mentions of illness… Language… (What else did you expect, we’ve got Tony Stark on board…!) Possible character death in the horizon… Uh… Anyone out there…?  
> TAKES PLACE in an AU where there are NO SUPERHEROES OR SUPER-POWERS. Just… regular people, going through their regular lives and enjoying comic-books instead of starring them. PETER IS YOUNGER IN THIS THAN IN THE MOVIE.  
> SO… It’s time to get started. I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy this tiny first taster!

Most people labeled one of the world's most famous billionaires Tony Stark a shallow, pampered ladies' man. Because that was the image he purposefully let the world see, and it often amused him how eagerly people swallowed his act. Most people also didn't know that he took Thursday afternoons off because he visited a children's ward at a hospital. Almost every time he spent a few moments with those kids whose parents had given their consent. (And their moms who often happened to be there by coincidence.) Every time he donated money. Because he definitely had the finances to do so and didn't know what else to do with all his money, anyway. It felt good to know that at least some of it went to a good cause. Even if seeing those sick children… wasn't always pleasant. (And discovering that some of them… vanished was far worse.)

That Thursday Tony was just about to leave. He had a headache, along with a meeting that promised to be excruciatingly boring yet couldn't be avoided waiting. Those two things kept his constantly whirring mind so busy that he didn't notice the pair of eyes that spotted him and widened. Nor did he noticed the child who began to follow him.

He was just about to press the button for an elevator when his tiny stalker spoke out. "Ah… Excuse me?" a polite, almost shy child's voice came from behind him. Tony peered over his shoulder to find a very adorable boy with wild, brown hair. The child's eyes were tired and old beyond his years, but also sparkled with childish curiosity. How old was he? Eight? Nine? "Are you Tony Stark? The one who invented those robots and all that other cool stuff?"

Tony couldn't help but smile. "Yup. The one and only. And you… must be my youngest fan." How did a child know who he was? Most kids at the ward were so young that they thought he was Santa Clause's cousin or just some random, silly guy who stopped by on occasion. "What's your name?"

The boy's unhealthily pale cheeks flushed just a little bit. "Peter." The child chewed the inside of his cheek, clearly contemplating something. "Can I… take a picture of you? May, may aunt… She's never gonna believe that you were here if I don't have a picture to show."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" Tony gave an impressed whistle when the boy fished out a camera. "Now that… is a treasure!"

Peter beamed like the sun from pride. If it wasn't for the hospital clothes, visible fatigue and paleness, he wouldn't have believed that the boy was a patient. "Thanks, Mr. Stark. My old one broke, so the nurses and doctors gathered money to get a new one. It's my favorite Birthday gift."

Tony winced. To imagine a child spending their Birthday here… "Please, call me Tony. Mr. Stark makes me feel even older than I am."

Peter nodded absentmindedly, working on the camera with skilled fingers. It was anyone's guess if the boy had heard him. "Okay." Peter tinkered with the camera some more, then nodded approvingly. "'K, the settings are perfect, now."

Peter's intention was, apparently, to snap a photo of just Tony. The billionaire shook his head. "Oh, nope. It's not every day I meet fans." He beckoned the boy to come closer.

Peter blushed again, obviously not used to being on the other side of the camera. But didn't dare to protest. And when Tony wrapped one arm around the kid and made a funny face at the camera Peter started to laugh.

In a few moments Tony nodded happily upon inspecting the final product. "You know what? That's a great picture." In fact… It was his personal favorite of all those bazillion snapshots that'd been taken of him over the years. He didn't often get the chance to make a child smile the way Peter was still beaming. "Remember to have it printed so I can give you an autograph."

The way Peter looked at him, happy and flattered… It was absolutely precious. (Not that he would've admitted as much out loud. He had a reputation to maintain, after all.) "Thanks, Mr. Stark."

Before Tony got the chance to remind the boy to use his first name, a woman's voice startled them both. "Peter!" a middle-aged nurse with ash-colored hair on a ponytail and brown eyes admonished. "You're supposed to be in bed."

Peter huffed and scratched his hair. "I know, I know. But… It's Thursday. I needed to come and see if Mr. Stark is visiting."

Well, how was that supposed to not tug at Tony's heartstrings?

The nurse smiled warmly at the boy. "And you got to see him. How cool is that?" She ruffled the child's hair. "Now off to bed, little troublemaker. Before your aunt gets here. I'll be there with the shot soon."

Peter grimaced before pulling himself together, weary eyes growing far too old again. The boy gave Tony a wave with one hand while the other cradled the camera affectionately. "Bye, Mr. Stark!"

Tony waved back. "Bye, kid! Maybe I'll come and see my biggest fan again next week."

A bright grin lit up Peter's tired eyes, and then the boy was on his way away.

The nurse didn't speak until the child was out of earshot. "Honestly? I'm glad he found you. Today… wasn't a good day for him."

Tony frowned and felt his stomach lurch. Which was ridiculous, because this was a kid he'd never even met before. "Oh?" He had so many questions that it was a little embarrassing.

Of course she couldn't tell him more. Instead she gave him a smile. "He really is your biggest fan, you know? Don't ask me how he gets even half of the stuff your company does. So… Keep stopping by. It'd mean a lot to him, and other kids." With those words she headed to the same direction to which Peter disappeared.

Tony stood there for a long while, deep in thought. Then pursed his lips, decision made. He was definitely coming back. And next time, he'd bring along something even cooler than a camera. Just in case he'd get the chance to see his number one fan again.

Because something about that kid's joy-filled smile was contagious, even to a man who – according to tabloids – was only supposed to care about himself.

/

TBC


	2. We Play With Jarvis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Peter again. And learns some very, very sad facts of the boy's health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My gosh...! THANK YOU, so much, for all your comments and listings. This is my first chapter-fic on this site, so your support means THE WORLD to me. (HUGS)  
> I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy this second chapter as well! Just, a word of warning... Things get a little sadder from here. (winces)

The following Thursday Tony entered the ward once more. He was just trying to figure out how to find Peter when fate decided to interfere. A brown-haired woman approached him with some hesitation. "Mr. Stark? I'm not sure if you remember, but… Last week you let Peter take a picture of you. I'm his aunt, May."

Tony's eyes lit up. (And only partially because the woman was far too hot to be anyone's aunt.) "Of course I remember him. He's a great kid." He then winced. "And Tony, please."

May nodded, a hint of color rising to her cheeks. "I, ah… I've gotta admit that I didn't believe him, at first, when he said that he met you. You can't even imagine how happy you made him."

"Actually… I was hoping to see him again. I promised him an autograph." Tony hesitated, the fact that the boy wasn't bouncing around his aunt unnerving him. "How is he?"

The flash of intense ache on May's face spoke far too loudly. She swallowed thickly to pull herself together. "It's… a rough day." She did her best to smile. "But he's going to be so excited to have you visiting. And… I need to make a call. Maybe you can keep him company in the meantime."

There was a lot Tony wanted to ask but something tied his tongue. So instead he followed May through a brief maze of hallways, until she opened a door and peered inside. "Pete, honey?" The grin on her face was a brave, almost genuine one. "Guess who I found?"

By the time Tony entered the room Peter was struggling to sit up. The child was even paler than the previous time they met and his lips carried a hint of blue despite help from oxygen whiskers. There were dark circles around Peter's bloodshot eyes but they immediately brightened at the sight of him. "M-Mr. Stark!" the boy sputtered, the child's whole face lighting up. "Hey!"

Tony was powerless to do anything else but grin back. "Hey, kid. I promised you an autograph, remember? Did you have the picture printed?"

Peter scoffed. "Of course I did! It's my favorite!"

Neither male noticed May leaving. Tony approached the small table beside Peter's bed. His heart did funny things at the discovery that aside a snapshot of the boy with four adults, one of whom was May, the photo of the two of them was the only one placed there. It was obviously something Peter considered a treasure. Its edges were already slightly worn from how often it was handled.

Curious to a fault, the billionaire gave the room a subtle onceover. The child's precious camera sat near the two valued photographs, where the boy could see them at all times. There were books everywhere, the kind that should've been too challenging for a child of Peter's age. Games and toys had also been brought in to make the room seem cozier. It still smelled of a hospital and there was no missing all the machinery. Sadness bubbling in his stomach, Tony wondered just how long the boy had spent in the room, and how much longer of a stay would be needed.

Tony was finishing up writing his name when he spoke again. "Guess what? I've got a present for you."

Peter looked at him with the kind of curiosity only children are capable of showing. "You do? What is it?"

Tony rummaged through the bag he'd brought along. "You asked if I'm from the company that builds robots last week. So…" He revealed a tiny robot. "Ta-da!"

Peter's eyes widened to an absolutely adorable extend. All pain and fatigue faded away while utter excitement took over. "That's… You made that for me? I can keep it?" The boy went on at his affirming nod and accepted the silly little thing like it was the most precious thing in the world. "Thank you so much, Mr. Stark! But… Why?"

Tony smiled. The true and honest kind, one reserved for the most special of situations. "It pampers my stupid ego to have an actual fan, kid. And I had a feeling you might like it." He shrugged. "My company… isn't much for producing toys. But… That turned out cute." He nodded towards the gift. "When you press the correct spot, it takes a different form. It has five different shapes."

Peter was completely and utterly mesmerized by the small item. "You mean… It's like a Transformer?"

Tony smirked. "Aren't you a smart kid", he praised. He watched Peter inspecting the gift with immense excitement and curiosity, tired eyes shining. In that moment it was deviously easy to forget where they were. "You really like those things, don't you?

Peter nodded immediately. The boy's eyes never once left the robot, and widened a fraction when a lucky brush of a finger made the item switch to a different shape. From something like a spider to something like a hawk. Small fingers immediately went on to try and see what the other forms might be. "Uh huh."

Tony tilted his head. The kid's enthusiasm reminded him startlingly lot of how he dove into his projects. "Maybe you'll work for my company when you grow up." Those words were an honest mistake. A child like Peter made it too damned easy to forget their surroundings and how screwed up and unfair life could be.

It happened so swiftly and subtly that if Tony hadn't been looking at just the right moment he might've missed it. Sadness sneaked into Peter's eyes and the boy's eager hands froze. The kid's left foot tapped impatiently three times, before the child pulled himself together with visible effort.

Tony frowned, cold creeping into his stomach. "Hey, are you okay?" Oh, crap… If Peter would immediately have some sort of a health-scare after having been trusted to his care for five minutes…

Peter, however, nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah, of course Mr. Stark!" The boy bit the inside of his cheek. Which seemed to be what he did often when he wasn't entirely sure how to express what he wanted to. "I'm just a bit tired, I guess. It's the stupid meds."

"Those 'stupid meds' help you get better, remember?" Tony ruffled the child's hair when he noticed the small shoulders tensing up. It worked like magic. The billionaire was never going to admit how his heart thudded at the feel of the boy melting to is touch. "It's okay to sleep if you're tired, kid."

Peter's brows furrowed while the child defied the pull of fatigue and looked at him. Something about that stubbornness was achingly familiar. "Isn't it rude?"

Tony couldn't help but smile. This damned kid…! "Not when you need to rest, anyway."

Peter nodded, very clearly disappointed. Some of the sadness from before was visible once more. "I… really wanted to spend time with you", the boy admitted quietly, focusing intently on the robot.

Tony felt just a little choked up and had no idea why. "And you did. It's not your fault that you need a nap." He gave the boy a smile he hoped to be reassuring. "Get some sleep. I'll see you next week."

Tony didn't think anyone had ever trusted him quite the way Peter did then. Yawning, the child lay down, weary eyes slipping closed with ease. Until one of them opened halfway. "Mr. Stark?" The boy nodded towards his newest treasure. "Can I… really keep this?"

There was absolutely no way Tony could've ever taken the robot away from the boy who clearly adored it so dearly. "Definitely", confirmed with confidence. "The next time I visit, I'll ask you what you named him."

"'looks like Jarvis." Peter smiled, despite being utterly drained and in pain. "Thanks, Mr. Stark." With those barely comprehensible, murmured words the child yawned again. Then fell asleep under the watch of a total stranger. Newly named Jarvis was cradled lovingly against his chest.

The past few minutes left Tony so emotionally overwhelmed that he had no idea of the person who'd been watching for a while. He jumped when May spoke softly, careful to not disturb Peter's much-needed slumber. "Mr. Stark?" She gestured for him to follow her. "A word?"

Tony wanted to roll his eyes but didn't. (What was it with this family refusing to call him by his first name?) His stomach churned and knotted when he got a sudden feeling that whatever was coming, he wouldn't like it.

There were chairs quite close to the room. Which was where May slumped, drawing in long, steadying breaths. She refused to meet his eyes. "You're…" She cleared her throat. "Peter's ecstatic that you've visited. I don't… I don't think I've seen him this happy since his parents died. And… I'd love to have you stopping by again. Because… Although he puts up a brave face he's having it really rough, and I want him to get every bit of happiness he can." She gulped loudly and bit the inside of her cheek, much like Peter did. "But, before you decide whether to keep visiting or not… Because, I need you to choose soon, before he gets attached to have you disappear…" She was rambling, nervous. Why? She wiped her eyes with an unsteady hand. "I… I need you to understand just how sick he is." She trailed off mid-thought.

Those words made Tony feel cold. Very, very cold. Forcing out speech was a mighty battle. "How bad is it?"

A sob, just one, broke out and May pressed a hand to her mouth. Then she pulled herself together with the same stubbornness Peter displayed and looked at him with moist, sad eyes. "He's… He's never going to graduate from high-school. And… The doctors…" She looked down and fought back a second sob with such force that it had to hurt. "They say that… that it's a miracle if he lives to celebrate his tenth Birthday."

All breath was sucked from Tony's lungs by the force of the blow.

/

 

Tony's memories of the next few moments were hazy at best. When he was slightly more coherent, he found himself and May sitting outside the hospital. Obviously they both needed the fresh air desperately.

May's eyes were puffy and almost glazed over while she continued to explain quietly. "Peter's heart… It's been sick since he was born. The doctors fixed it once, when he was just a baby. But… It started acting up again. He's…" She cleared her throat. "He's spent most of his life in hospitals."

Tony nodded slowly. He worked his hardest to process the information and wasn't doing a very good job at it. "But… There's gotta be something, right? A surgery, or…"

May shook her head. The look on her face revealed that she'd long since worked herself past the 'denial' point of the grief-process. (She'd been fighting this hopeless battle with Peter for so long…) "The problem is that…" She shook her head again to clear it. "… that he wouldn't be able to handle the surgery he'd need. They can't fix him, because it'd kill him. And if they don't fix him…" She trailed off. "So, basically…" A mirthless chuckle burst through her lips. She seemed unaware of the tear rolling down her cheek. "Basically, we're stuck fighting a losing battle. I… I don't know for how much longer. No one does." Her whole body was shaking from the weight of those words.

"So…" Tony felt breathless and defeated. Just weeks ago he would've been baffled by even the thought of a child he barely knew sparking such strong emotions in him. "There's… nothing?"

May shook her head. Opened her mouth, closed it. Then looked at him. "I… I get it, if this is… too much. You've done more than enough for him already. But, if you can handle it… I think it'd mean the world to him if you kept stopping by."

Tony had no idea how to react. He'd never once in his life committed to anything. And this, being given the opportunity to devote himself to something like this… He didn't know how to handle it.

They both jumped when his phone received a message. It was Pepper, reminding him of a meeting he should've been on his way to already. He scowled. Not the best timing… He got up, his knees a little weak from… Well, he preferred not processing what. "I've… gotta go." On the last minute, just before he would've started running away from something that hurt like he usually did, he halted. "See you next Thursday."

May nodded with a joyless but relieved watery smile, unable to utter words.

/

 

Tony wasn't entirely sure how he made it to the Stark Tower. Pepper was waiting for him outside the meeting room with a frown of worry and irritation. "Where were you? We've spent two months working on arranging this meeting!"

Tony hadn't told even her where he disappeared to on Thursdays. Now… Now he wished he had, because at the moment he had no words to explain. All he could do was wrap his arms around her and pull her close. He held on to her with the despair of a drowning man, his face buried to her shoulder. And he burst into tears.

"Tony?" Pepper sounded scared. "Tony, what's wrong?"

It took considerable effort to find the words. Tony sniffled, and hated how he sounded like a child. The mental image of Peter's innocent, smiling face twisted in his chest like a blade. "I just… I hate the world today."

/

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... There we have it. (winces) Poor, poor Peter! And Tony, too. How will their story continue from here?  
> Soooo... Was that any good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Your comments seriously make my day.  
> Until next time! I really hope I'll see you all there.  
> Take care!


	3. We Share Birthday-Shawarma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and May throw Tony a miniature Birthday party at the hospital. And Tony gets two priceless gifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating WAY faster than I planned. But I figured that you wouldn't mind. (grins)  
> DAAAANG! THANK YOU for your AMAZING reviews and support. You have no idea how happy I am to have found people who adore Peter as much as I do. (HUGS)  
> SOOOO... Are you ready? Let's go! I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

One thing about Peter Tony learned during his third visit, and suspected as soon as during the first? When the boy felt even remotely okay, he didn't stay in his room. But Peter was also a good, polite kid who didn't want to worry anyone more than necessary, so he didn't go far.

The ward had a tiny balcony that'd been decorated with some flowers and chairs to make it seem cozier. Peter sat on the floor, practically drowning in the massive quilt the child had wrapped around himself. The boy's eyes were closed while sun caressed his face. Tony's curiosity was piqued when he noticed that Peter's lips were moving with whispered words.

"Hey, Peter", he greeted. Doing his best not to startle the child, now that he knew about the heart-problems. "Wanna share who you were talking to?"

Peter blushed, just a little bit, while the boy's eyes opened. It was good to see some color on the child's face. "Uh… No one, Mr. Stark." Before the billionaire got the chance to object to not being called by his first name, Peter sniffed. A curious gaze traveled to the paper-bag the inventor carried. "That smells good."

Tony grinned. "Glad you think so, kid. Because it's our lunch. Your nurse said that it's okay." Her exact words were that if he'd get the boy to eat anything, he was her official hero. "Have you ever tried Shawarma?"

Peter's brows furrowed. The child seemed equally curious and confused. And almost heartbreakingly grateful. "Sah… What is it?"

Tony's grin widened. "Oh, you just wait. You're in for a treat."

Peter didn't eat much but what little the boy could stomach he clearly enjoyed. Tony didn't push him. He had the impression that the child hadn't eaten much in ages and didn't want to ruin the day for them both.

Deciding that he was done, Peter flopped dramatically to his back and sighed happily as the sun caressed all of him. Clearly enjoying the feel of warmth. "That was great! Thank you, Mr. Stark!"

Tony laughed. "It was just some junk-food. But I'm glad we agree that it's the greatest."

It was Peter's turn to grin. The boy then jolted a little, remembering something. "OH, oh…! I almost forgot." Tiny hands disappeared under the quilt, then fished out a gift that'd clearly been wrapped up by a child. There was a slightly nervous look in Peter's eyes, as though the kid was wondering whether his offering would be accepted. "Happy Birthday, Mr. Stark!"

The only reason Tony hadn't forgotten his Birthday was that he'd surrounded himself with so many (poorly acting) well-wishers that he'd been showered by calls and messages since the morning. But this one, coming from someone so innocent… was special.

Tony shook his head fondly. Not quite able to disguise how touched and curious he was. This damned kid had the habit of cracking his invisible armor… "Awww, Pete, you really didn't have to. How did you even know?"

Peter laughed. And in an instant Tony decided that he wanted the boy to do more of that. "I'm your biggest fan, remember? Of course I know your Birthday!" And it was as simple as that, wasn't it?

By then Tony had unveiled the gift. Hiding the moisture gathering to his eyes was one of the hardest fights he'd ever fought. Smiling at him was a tiny but incredibly adorable toy-robot. Shining in the colors of rich red and gold.

"It's… not as awesome as the one I got from you. But… I wanted to wish you a happy Birthday. And thank you for Jarvis." Peter seemed uncertain and hopeful. "Do you like it?"

Tony ruffled the child's hair. Because hugging… Well, they weren't quite there yet. He cleared his throat before finding his voice. "Like it? I love it! Thank you." He admired the robot. "You know what? This is the best Birthday present I've ever had."

"Really?" Peter's eyes widened while the boy's whole face lit up from delight. "Honestly?"

Tony raised his right hand. "Scout's honor." He smirked. "And guess what? Now we can play Robot Wars."

Peter's answering smirk was astonishingly identical to his.

/

 

Predictably Peter grew tired fairly soon. When May came an hour later the boy was snoring softly, a smile of bliss on his unhealthily pale face. She gestured Tony to follow her out of the room and he braced himself for a scolding. Instead she seemed… happy. "You have no idea how good it feels to see him smiling like that. Thanks, for that. And Happy Birthday."

Tony smiled. Because he was powerless to do anything else. "Thanks. Gotta love the little robot."

May snorted, amused. "You'd better. I spent three hours raiding toy stores to find one that Peter approved. Worth every minute, though." She nodded towards the item in his tender hold. "What are you gonna call it?"

Tony thought hard for a moment. "Friday." As a symbol that come the Fridays after these bittersweet Thursdays, Peter would still be there. Fighting on with the will of iron.

May's eyebrow arched but she didn't ask, most likely figuring that this was something between him and Peter.

Tony shifted, his thoughts drifting elsewhere. "I… was actually kind of hoping that I'd see you. Because, after what you told me last week…" How sick Peter is… That he's dying… You know, that sort of stuff…, he mused sardonically. "I've… been thinking." Seeing her tense up and realizing that she thought he was backing out on these visits, he went on hurriedly. "There are some pretty amazing doctors out there. One of them has to know how to help. I could do some looking."

May sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping. The pain in her eyes was palpable. "Tony…" (Well, at least one member of this family finally called him by his first name…) "Don't. Please don't do this."

Tony stared at her incredulously. "What are you talking about? I'm not supposed to try to help?

May sighed again and ran a hand through her hair. "Peter's parents… Before their death they spent years searching. And… I've spent most of the money they left behind to keep looking. But… There's no one. No… super-doctors or wizards who could…" She took several deep breaths to pull herself together.

Tony's resolve shuddered but didn't crumble. "Just… Let me try, yeah?" He hated how desperate he sounded. (The infamous Tony Stark just didn't do 'desperate'.) "I mean… What's the worst that could happen?"

May nodded slowly. "Okay. But… Unless you find someone… We're not telling Peter. He's…" She cleared her throat. "He's had too much false hope by now."

Tony didn't want to even guess what that meant. Nor did he want to know if she agreed because she felt sorry for him, because it was his Birthday or if she did it because she was even more desperate than he was. He grabbed the thin ray of hope and latched on. "Deal."

May's smile held a hint of sadness when she looked at him. He was tempted to ask what, exactly, she saw but didn't. In the end she was the one to break the ensuing silence. "Another Birthday surprise? One of the nurses is gonna smuggle in a tiny cake in…" May checked the time. "… fifteen minutes. Wanna stick around for it?"

"I'd never say 'no' to cake." Tony grinned. "Another fan of mine?"

May nodded towards Peter's room with a loving look on her face. "Nope. A fan of his."

Tony laughed. He wasn't surprised. Something told him that pretty much anyone who met the kid was a fan of his.

/

Peter woke up, groggy and most likely sore but determined to try hiding it, about ten minutes after the cake arrived. The boy cast a critical look towards the delicacy. "Did they make it a chocolate one?" the child croaked.

"They sure did", Tony affirmed. "I'm… not gonna ask if you actually knew that it's my favorite, or guessed well." This whole thing, no matter how seemingly small, touched him more than he was ever going to admit, even to himself. "You guys… really, seriously didn't have to do this. Does pamper my humble ego, though."

Peter smiled shyly. May gave his shoulder a squeeze. "After everything you've done for us, we figured that the least we owe you is a cake. Besides, chocolate is our favorite, too. This was a great excuse to have some." She ruffled Peter's hair. "Right, larb?"

Peter seemed slightly embarrassed. But still leaned eagerly to her touch. "May…!" he whined, cheeks coloring. The boy then focused on him, excitement shining in those tired eyes. "Blow the candles and make a wish, Mr. Stark!"

Tony was about to point out that there couldn't really be candles at a hospital. Especially in a room containing an oxygen tank. But he stopped himself on the last minute, realization dawning. He exhaled loudly, in an over-dramatic manner that made Peter chuckle and May roll her eyes. Then blew. While the candles were imaginary his wish wasn't.

Because he wasn't going to give up on this kid, not with Friday weighing in the coat's pocket against his heart.

"What did you wish for?" Peter asked eagerly as soon as his show was over.

Tony pressed a finger to his lips. "Nope. Remember the rules? If I say it out loud, it won't come true."

(Later, much later, Tony would look back on that day. Several times over. And realize that the best Birthday present was having such a perfect day with his biggest fan.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Tony! (smiles) Considering what's to come... I figured I owed you this lighter chapter. (whistles innocently)  
> SOOOO... Good? Bad? Lukewarm? PLEASE, do leave a comment before you go! I LOVE hearing from you.  
> BEFORE I forget... If the plot-bunnies in my head stay under control, this story will be eleven to twelve chapters long. How does that sound?  
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that you'll all stay tuned for that one.  
> Take care!


	4. We Break Our Hearts a Little More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving a horrible message from May Tony spends a heartbreaking day with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm BACK ALREADY! We'll see if you'll love or hate me for it soon... (chuckles nervously) This chapter is one reason why I felt you guys deserved a lighter previous chapter.  
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all your comments and listings! You have no idea how good they make me feel. (HUGS)  
> Okay. It's time to go. Hang in there, folks! This won't be an easy ride...

We Break Our Hearts a Little More

That Thursday morning Tony received a message that made his knees grow weak. Not in the good way. He stared at the words, not quite comprehending them.

'Peter had a heart attack.'

Tony had been planning on a business trip with Pepper. He barely heard her worried voice. "Tony? What's wrong?"

Tony swallowed thickly. He had no idea of the moisture gathering to his eyes. "I… I've gotta go", he managed. "I'll… explain later. But… I've gotta go." He sped away without offering any further explanation.

Tony had no idea how he made it to the hospital. All he knew was that it took frustratingly long because of traffic. His mad dash to the already familiar ward was nothing but blur. May sat there, crumbled to a chair with her face buried to her hands. Her whole frame shuddered from shock and tears she wasn't able to hold back.

"How…?" Tony had to clear his throat when his voice broke pitiably. "How is he?"

May jolted, startled. Her hand trembled when she wiped her eyes. "He's, ah… They've got him pretty stable." She bounced up and began to pace, the chaos inside her clearly making it impossible to hold still. "But… They're still working on him." She blinked furiously when a new storm of tears threatened to strike. "I don't… I don't know…" Her voice faded away entirely.

Unlike most people probably imagined, Tony didn't gift hugs easily. But at that terrifying, heart-wrenching moment he couldn't stop himself. Unable to utter a word, he wrapped his arms around May and pulled her close. For about two seconds shock paralyzed her. Then she clung to him desperately, like he was the only thing keeping her from drowning. And broke down to sobs that sounded like howls of agony. Tony didn't know that he was crying as well while he held her back just as tightly. Right there, his own heart racing and breaking for the child he'd only just started to get to know, he prayed for the first time in his life.

Both adults were too preoccupied to notice the nosy reporter who'd been tailing Tony since the man left the Stark Tower in a visible amount of distress. A predatory grin appeared while the man snapped a picture of the embracing couple. He could already imagine the headlines…

/

 

It took until noon before Peter's primary doctor finally approached them, his face grim and exhausted. Tony didn't understand half of what the man was saying. He clung to the bits and pieces he felt he could handle.

Peter wasn't awake just yet. But the child was responding to the medication given to him. The boy's heart suffered one more little bit of damage, but it was still beating.

Still in a shock, Tony wondered what he was supposed to do next. May made the decision for him, her nearly convulsive hold on his hand never breaking. Neither was able to speak as they followed the doctor to Peter's room, the billionaire's ears deaf to the man's warnings of what awaited. For the second time that day Tony felt his knees go dangerously weak.

Peter was either unconscious or sleeping deeply, even paler than usual. An oxygen mask sat on the child's face but his lips still held a hint of blue. A painfully loud heart-monitor reported an unsteady but existing rhythm. Peter seemed so hopelessly tiny and fragile that Tony's breath caught in his throat. He could barely even imagine how May had to feel.

The doctor left after some hollow words of comfort Tony paid no attention to. He stood paralyzed close to the door, fighting to convince himself into taking the next step. May approached Peter slowly, a dazed look in her pain-filled, moist eyes. She swallowed convulsively while sitting to the edge of the boy's bed and started to comb her fingers gently through the child's unruly hair. Tears ran down her cheeks while she shook from how hard she tried to stay strong.

It took several minutes before May remembered that the billionaire was there. She seemed to feel awkward all of a sudden. "I'm… I'm sorry about that message. You must be busy, but… I didn't know who else to… And I didn't want you to come here today, not knowing…"

Tony shook his head to interrupt her. "I'm glad you let me know." And he was, no matter how freaking badly this hurt.

May nodded and continued to focus on Peter. It took a considerable amount of time and effort before she found her voice again. "The last time he was… this bad… my husband, Ben, was still alive." She sighed and blushed ever so slightly. "This is embarrassing, but… I'm glad I'm not alone right now."

Tony felt tempted to ask what happened to Ben but didn't. This wasn't the right time. "It's okay to need someone. Or so I've been told. And, if it's any consolation… You're tougher than you think." She'd been at this war for over eight years without shattering. He had no idea how she did it.

May smiled faintly. She nodded towards Peter. "Not as tough as he is." She bit he lower lip, hard. "When he was born they said he had months. Until they operated him, and it failed. Then it was years. When he… When he has a good day he's just so bright and bubbly, alive, that I almost forget. And then… Then something like this happens, and I remember again." She wiped her eyes. "It's like I've always only had him on loan. I… I keep dreading when the universe remembers to snatch him away. When… When his heart gets too heavy, and he just…" She trailed off.

Tony clenched his jaw to keep himself from breaking down. He needed to stay strong, too. ('Stark men are made of iron.') "We're not letting him give up. And we're not giving up, either." If there was one thing he was absolutely certain of, that was it. Because losing this battle… He wasn't sure if his heart could take it. (Not that he would've ever admitted as much out loud.)

/

 

It was around four in the afternoon when Peter woke up, briefly. Tony had dozed off at some point but was just coherent enough to witness the event. The child whimpered and fought so hard not to sob that he shook, clawing at his chest. "… ouwh …"

May stopped the unhelpful motions with a gentle but firm hold. Careful to not disturb any machinery, tubes or wires she lay down before pressing a kiss to the child's temple. "Shh… It'll get better soon, I promise." She sounded like she'd been through this all far too many times. The hand that wasn't holding the boy's wrist caressed his hair tenderly. "Try to sleep."

Peter whimpered again, then bit his lip to keep the sound from repeating. "… heart hiccup again?" the boy mumbled.

May nodded. She looked towards the ceiling and blinked rapidly. "Yeah, larb. It did. But you got the magic medicine, so it's doing better now." She sounded almost convincing. Almost.

Peter nodded slowly, his eyelids drooping already. He buried his head to his aunt's shoulder to hide his face, his whole tiny frame shaking. "Hurts…"

It was fortunate, really, that the kid was spared from having to see May's eyes overflow. She gulped laboriously. "I know." She closed her eyes for a second and kissed the boy's hair. "Remember why your heart hurts? Because it's so big that it has enough love for the whole wide world. And it's heavy because…"

"… 's made of pure gold", Peter murmured. Sounding more than half asleep already. After some deep, shuddering breaths the child opened a pair of bleary eyes just enough to see his aunt. The agony and sadness in his gaze weren't only for physical causes. The boy reached out a small hand to wipe her cheeks. "… feel better now. Promise. Don't cry."

May did her best to blink away the tears. She wasn't very successful. "I'm not crying, silly child. It's the allergies." She kissed the tip of the boy's nose and he feigned being appalled. "Now sleep. We'll both hurt less when you wake up."

That seemed to soothe Peter, at least a little bit. Unable to fight back any longer the boy closed his eyes and fell asleep. It wasn't until after that May stuffed one fist into her mouth, closed her eyes and broke down to soundless sobs. Completely forgetting that there was someone watching.

Tony was so focused on her tears that he didn't notice his own.

/

 

It was almost midnight before Peter woke up again, halfway at least. The boy seemed to feel marginally more comfortable, mainly because the dosage of pain medication given to him had been increased dramatically. The child blinked sluggishly at Tony, then smiled. "Hey, Mr. Stark", Peter croaked in what wasn't louder than a whisper. "… it still Thursday?"

Tony couldn't help but smile as well, despite everything. "Yeah, kid. It is. Barely."

"Good. … worried I slept through … and missed you…"

"Hey!" Tony ruffled the boy's hair. "No way I would've gone anywhere without seeing you."

Peter smiled again. Then sobered upon remembering something. "… May okay?"

"She is", Tony hurried to reassure the child. There was no way he could've been heartless enough to reveal just how not okay she was, in the middle of all this. "She's just taking a nap." It took hours before she fell into a light, fitful sleep. The only reason she refused medication was that she wanted a clear head in case Peter needed her.

Peter frowned. "You look tired, too."

Tony shook his head as firmly as he could. "Nah, I'm fine." He hadn't slept in two full days. And wasn't sure he'd be able to get any rest for a while. He did his best to seem stern. "Leave the worrying for adults. All you need to worry about is getting more sleep."

It didn't seem like Peter was planning on obeying. The child looked at him. No matter how much it obviously hurt and how little strength the boy had, the kid pushed himself to a sitting position. Then flung his arms around Tony, practically slumped against the man when the exertion proved to be too much.

Tony hugged the child in return. Because there was nothing else he could've even imagined doing. "What's this for?" he barely managed from how choked his throat had gone.

"… looked like you needed a hug", Peter murmured.

Tony couldn't answer anything. Not when even breathing without it transforming to sobs was a battle he barely won. All he could do was tighten his hold, as much as he dared to. His eyes stung so badly that it threatened to drive him crazy. In a matter of minutes Peter had fallen asleep in his arms.

/

 

It was two in the morning before Tony finally made it home. Pepper was still awake, of course. She seemed ready to berate him but changed her mind at the sight of him. It wasn't until in her arms the supposedly heartless billionaire finally let go, completely and utterly.

Tony didn't remember falling asleep. But he woke up to a headache and sunlight, which wasn't a good combination. Pepper sat on the other side of the bed, looking like she hadn't gotten any rest for a while. There was an unnervingly solemn look on her face. "I… really want to know what yesterday was all about. But first… I think we need to talk about…" She tossed a tabloid to the bed beside him. "… this."

Dread squirming in the pit of his stomach, Tony inspected the paper. The squirming transformed into knots at what he discovered. "Shit…!"

There was a picture of him and May embracing. Along with a headline that made him see red. 'BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY'S BEST KEPT SECRET? DOES TONY STARK HAVE A SECOND GIRLFRIEND AND A CHILD?'

"I know that you'd never cheat on me." Pepper's voice held no hesitation. "But… Who is she? And… If you have a kid with someone… I'd like to know." She didn't sound accusative, only hurt and confused. Which somehow made him feel worse.

Tony realized that he'd been stupid to not tell her sooner. Because she would've deserved to know, and he had no idea why he'd kept his silly secret for this long. He choked in a breath, exhaled. And started telling her exactly what he did on Thursday afternoons.

/

 

Later that day, after getting a permission from a hesitant May, Tony held a press-conference. And made sure that the reporter interviewing him wasn't from the same newsroom that transformed the one selfless thing he'd ever done into something hideous. "So, we're all curious to know…", the painfully nasal interview began. "Do you really have a child with that woman?"

Tony snorted and shook his head forcefully. "Of course I don't! And although I've done a lot of stupid stuff, I'd never cheat on Pepper after being lucky enough to trick her into loving me."

Tony spent a few seconds searching for the right words. "My big, scandalous secret is that I've been visiting my biggest fan at a children's ward. That woman in the picture is his aunt. And, the thing is…" He focused on the TV-cameras filming him, a pleading look in his eyes. The twenty surgeons he and his people had contacted had declined to operate on Peter in varying levels of politeness. (It was against ethics to operate on a patient who'd die on the table, one stated bluntly. And awakened a beast inside the billionaire.) It was time to use the unraveling of his secret for something good. "He's a great kid, probably the most awesome person I've ever met. And his heart is in a horrible condition. So, if there's anyone out there who can help, or knows someone who can help… Please, reach out. Because… He could kind of use a miracle."

/

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MAN, that HURT, didn't it? Poor Peter! Poor Tony and May! It looks like time is ticking away...  
> Thoughts? Comments? Rants? Threats? PLEASE, do let me know! I love hearing from you.  
> AS FOR THIS FIC'S UPDATING SCHEDULE… How would you feel if I TRIED TO update twice a day, on Mondays and Thursdays? I should be able to, if plot-bunnies and my head stay in control. (chuckles)  
> Until next time! I really hope that I'll see you all there.  
> Take care!


	5. We Wish Upon a Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets some more people who are important to Peter. And the two do some emotional kind-of-stargazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you recovered from the previous chapter already? Because here we are, with another chapter...  
> First, though... Thank you, so much, for all the comments and love you've given this story! It means more than you know. (HUGS)  
> Awkay... It's time, folks. Let's go! I really hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

The following week was an insane roller-coaster of ups, downs and feelings. Peter's health kept swinging like a pendulum, until it settled fairly close to something tolerable. Additional media-attention didn't make that time any less stressful. But at least Tony was miraculously able to keep May and Peter from ending up to the pages of tabloids. (The strictly confidential hospital-environment helped.) The last thing the two needed was a swarm of reporters harassing them.

In the meantime he was constantly bombarded by more or less bizarre people offering their help. He wasn't sure which one was more maddening. That some people had the nerve to try and take advantage of him, or that even those with the best intentions weren't any actual help.

Before Tony knew it Thursday had arrived again. Upon entering Peter's room the billionaire was the one who nearly had a heart attack. Because the child wasn't there. And a nurse was making the bed the boy had spent far too much time in, her back to him.

He must've made some sort of a noise because the nurse jumped, startled, then peered over her shoulder. Her cheeks colored a little before she cleared her throat. "Good morning, Mr. Stark. If you're looking for Peter he's probably in the playroom. I gave him the permission to go there for fifteen minutes, while I make his bed."

Tony hadn't realized that he'd been holding his breath until he choked on an inhale. He laughed breathlessly at his own stupidity. Of course Peter wasn't… Couldn't be… But for a moment, just one, he really, truly feared that… "Thanks", was all he managed to utter.

Tony wasn't able to decide what, exactly, he expected to find. The sight he encountered upon entering the mentioned room… wasn't it. He blinked twice, then grinned, bittersweet as it all was.

Peter wasn't alone, and this time May wasn't the child's companion. A boy and a girl of approximately Peter's age occupied both sides of him. The boy Tony had never seen before sat in a wheelchair but was wearing his own clothes, so he'd most likely just decided to visit. The girl wore a big, pink wig no one else would've pulled off but that seemed like it was made for her. Both had their eyes glued on the familiar camera Peter was holding.

The girl wrinkled her nose. "Pete, my hair looks totally stupid in that picture! Delete it, now!"

"No, don't!" the boy in the wheelchair whined immediately. "It's the only one where I don't look embarrassing!"

Peter – still pale and slightly blue-lipped but sparkling with life – cut the argument in the only reasonable way. The boy lifted the camera and snapped another picture. This time all three kids posed flawlessly.

The boy patted Peter on the back approvingly, heartbreakingly oblivious to the discomfort such a friendly gesture brought. "That's cool!" the child praised. The girl emitted a grunting noise. Which was most likely the closest she got to showing appreciation.

That was when Peter noticed Tony. The child's chronically tired eyes lit up in a way that made something deep inside the billionaire melt. "Hey, Mr. Stark!" The boy nudged at both his friends with an elbow. "See, see? I told you that he visits me!"

The boy in a wheelchair stared at him like a unicorn or something equally impossible had just walked in. "Hey, eh… Hi, Mr. Stark", the child squeaked, his pitch considerably higher than earlier. "I'm Ned. Pete's… guy in the chair." Ned rambled on at Tony's visible confusion. "Guy in the chair, you know… It's a comic book reference…" The rest was incomprehensible, even to a man who'd been labeled a genius by some.

The girl was considerably less impressed. She frowned and narrowed her eyes, and he was tempted to wonder if she was trying to see if it was safe to allow him around Peter. (Not that she would've admitted feeling protective, if anyone asked.) "You're shorter than I thought."

Peter's eyes widened while a scandalized expression took over the boy's face. "MJ! You can't just say stuff like that!"

Tony grinned, unable to feel offended. "You know… You're the…" He counted in his head. "… eighth person to ever say that to me."

The girl grinned back for a second, like they just shared an inside joke, before her face returned to the mask of slightly hostile indifference.

The same nurse Tony spoke to earlier clearing her throat cut the meeting short. She did her best to seem stern, he could tell, but there was a tiny smile on her face. "Okay, Pete. Remember the rules? No over-exhausting yourself." Seeing the oncoming protest, she went on. "I know that it's boring, but you need a nap. I read minds, remember? I can tell those things." (Peter's lips having gained a bit of blue while his face lost color was also a good hint.) Her words made the kids giggle a little. She then turned her attention to MJ, her eyes becoming slightly sadder. "And you, young lady… should be getting ready for your next treatment session."

MJ groaned, loudly. But shockingly didn't start a heated argument while the nurse led her away. The unfair reality was clearly catching up with the children, forlorn expressions taking over all their faces. MJ muttered quiet byes, Ned shifted with discomfort in his chair and Peter's shoulders sagged.

"I… have to go find mom." Ned began to wheel away, clearly hesitant to leave when his friends had to stay. "See you soon, Pete."

Peter did his best to smile bravely. "Yeah. See you soon." As soon as his friends had disappeared intense longing appeared to the boy's eyes, which were staring at the doorway.

Tony understood, at least he thought he did. So he placed a gentle hand on the child's shoulder, which made the tension fade away instantly. "We should probably go back to your room. That nurse seems nice. I wouldn't want to upset her."

Peter bit the inside of his cheek and looked down. Suddenly embarrassed. "I… I'm not sure I can walk all the way there."

Tony's stomach knotted and his eyes stung. "So you did over-exhaust yourself, huh?" This was clearly a bad moment. Because those words were enough to make Peter burst into tears. The billionaire panicked. What was he supposed to do now? "Hey, hey! It's okay." Gently, gently, he picked up the boy. Even with his limited experience on children he realized that Peter was far too light. And the arms wrapping around him were weaker than they should've been. "When we get to your room you'll take a nap." Sensing a protest, he continued. "Do that… and I'll give you a present."

"Another one?" Peter murmured, baffled.

"Yup. Another one." Tony tightened his hold on the child subconsciously when getting them to the sterile, far too clinical hallway. Reality bit harshly. "But nap first."

As it turned out that wasn't a problem, because Peter was asleep before they reached the child's room.

/

 

It seemed that Tony needed to rest, too. Because he woke up to a bizarre sound he couldn't identify and tensed up. Until his eyes opened to find May with Peter's camera.

May seemed every bit as drained as he felt. She gave him a sheepish look that was surreally similar to the one the kid on the bed sometimes wore. "Sorry", she whispered, not wanting to risk waking her nephew who was still sleeping heavily. "But… I think that picture is something Peter will want to see when he wakes up."

Tony shrugged. It wasn't like that would've been the worst snapshot ever taken of him. "No offense, but… It looks like you could use some sleep, too." He got up from the chair and stretched. "I wanna wait until he wakes up, anyway. I've got a gift for him."

May sighed. She seemed touched, horrified and hesitant all at once. "Another one?"

Tony grinned. "Why not? It's not like I wouldn't have the money." He gave her what he hoped to be a demanding look. "Now sleep. I'll keep watch."

May didn't exactly seem to have any choice over the matter. She settled down on one of the room's uncomfortable chairs. Minutes after she fell asleep Peter began to stir. As though pulled by a magnet the kid's eyes found his aunt, and instantly worry appeared.

"She's okay", Tony was quick to reassure the boy. "I just told her take a nap."

Peter nodded approvingly. "Good. She never listens to me when I tell her to."

Tony was quick to notice that the boy was once again in pain but didn't ask about it. The child would've just said that it was nothing. Instead he chose a different approach. "I promised you a gift, remember? Wanna see it?" He went on when Peter nodded with the kind of enthusiasm only a child can feel. "You've got a million books here that all look like you've read them… way too many times. And I'm also throwing a wild guess that you really like stars and space. So…" Taking a dramatic pause, he revealed a massive book. "This one's supposed to have… pretty much everything about constellations and planets." It would've been far too challenging for any other eight-year-old but Peter had always been an exception.

Peter stared in a total disbelief. "That's… That's the coolest book ever!" The way the boy's eyes lit up would always be one of the most precious things he'd ever seen. "Thank you, Mr. Stark! You… You give me way too many presents…!"

"Hey!" Tony ruffled the child's hair. "I need to spend all the money I make on someone. And I like spending it on you."

Peter blushed, just a little, but said nothing. In the end temptation got the better of the child. Small, eager hands began to flip through the pages. Finally stopping to the constellations. "When I was a kid… Before we moved to New York… I used to look at stars all the time with dad. Or, well… When I felt well enough." The boy's eyes strayed towards the room's window and the already dark sky. "There's so much light-pollution here that you barely see them. And… Sometimes I forget that they're there, almost."

Tony sensed that there was a bigger conversation coming and dreaded it. He also looked towards the sky. "It's pretty hard to see them around here. But they're up there, trust me. Billions of them."

Peter was silent for a long while. "Mom… She said that when people… go away… They become stars, so they can make sure that… that the people still down here are okay." Another silence followed while the boy wiped his eyes. "Mom, dad and Ben… Do you think they're stars?"

Tony was absolutely helpless when it came to situations and talks like this. He wished dearly that May would've woken up to save him, but she didn't. "I… don't know, kid. But… It sounds like a pretty good idea."

He sensed Peter's nod, even if he didn't see it. "Do you think I'll become a star, too? When I…" The child trailed off.

That… felt exactly like a stab through the heart. Tony had to compose himself for a while when the pressure and stinging of his eyes almost got too much. "Kid… I hope that we won't have to think about that for a really long time."

Peter gave him a look. The kind that said the child knew and understood far too much for his age. Then the boy focused on the sky once more. "Mom also said that there are shooting stars. I've never seen any, but… I believe her. She said that a person can make a wish when they see one. And those wishes come true."

"She told you that, huh?" Tony processed how to set his words for a moment. "If you could wish for anything… What would you wish for?"

Peter blinked once, surprised. "You mean… anything? Like… anything, anything?" After his nod of affirmation the boy thought hard, suddenly so serious that the billionaire regretted asking. "I'd… wish to go home. At least for a day. I mean… I've barely been there for ages, and… I miss it. I miss my bed, because it doesn't make my back hurt. And… I miss the… normal."

All of a sudden Tony felt so much at one go that even if he had, by some miracle, known what to say all words would've gotten caught into his throat.

Peter, who seemed to have some in-built radar for the moods of others, immediately looked at him with wide, apologetic eyes. "I know that it's a silly wish, that it can't happen. Can I have some orange juice instead?"

It was so bitterly and adorably surreal that Tony couldn't help it. He laughed, even if it sounded slightly choked. "You know what, kid? I'm pretty sure that it can be arranged."

Less than an hour later, after some orange juice and a lot of excited flipping through the book, Peter was too tired to stay awake any longer. Still the child tried, for a moment longer, cuddled against him. "Mr. Stark? That is the coolest book ever. Thank you. And… Thanks, for coming again. I was having a sad day, but… Not anymore."

Tony's heart did something funny at those words. He leaned just a little closer. "You're my favorite person to buy gifts for. And to visit." He combed his fingers through the child's hair like he'd seen May do. "Sweet dreams, Space Traveler."

The new nickname clearly pleased Peter, who fell asleep with a smile on his face despite all physical discomfort.

Tony wished, from the bottom of his heart of iron, that there was a shooting start or two, somewhere out there.

/

 

Tony spent that night at the hospital. Peter fell asleep clinging tightly to his clothes and he didn't want to risk rousing the child who clearly needed the rest. (Of course his reluctance had nothing to do with him finding it stupidly difficult to leave.)

The following morning Tony was tired and, admittedly, grumpy when he finally made it to the Stark Tower. Which wasn't the best state of mind for the encounter he was about to have. "Tony?" The man's voice he didn't recognize made him frown. "I… was hoping we could talk."

Tony turned slowly, bracing himself for something unpleasant. He wasn't disappointed. His brows furrowed as he faced the man standing a few steps away. Because he was almost sure that he'd seen that face before.

The stranger swallowed thickly. "I, er… I'm sorry, about that false story. Of you, that woman and her kid."

Tony saw red. His hear began to hammer from so much rage that he wasn't sure he could handle it. The only thing that kept him from lunging at the man was that the bastard probably wanted him to do just that. He'd made more than enough headlines with losing his cool and doing… stupid stuff. He couldn't risk getting sued, not when Peter needed him. "What the hell do you want?" he growled through tightly gritted teeth.

The reporter shrugged. "To… do the right thing, for once, I guess." Well, he could relate to that… "Look… You said on TV that you were looking for… someone. And… I may know someone."

Something inside Tony jumped. After twenty-five doctors had declined to help… He wasn't sure he wanted to trust this man, though. He clenched his jaw. "Give me one good reason to believe you."

The reporter snorted. Too arrogant to help himself. "Doesn't seem like you've got any other choice." The man was quick to continue at his murderous glare. "I can't promise that he'd be able to or willing to help. But… It's something."

At that point 'something' was a million times better than 'nothing'.

/

 

Pepper was about as thrilled and hesitant as he was. "So… You're saying that this doctor… had a nervous breakdown, or something. Then disappeared to India?" She worried her lower lip. "Are you sure that…?"

"No", Tony scoffed. "But he's the last one left." He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What do you say?"

On the other side of the conference call May was silent for torturously long. Then emitted what could've as well been a sob or a sigh. "We've gotta try, right?"

/

 

So Tony flew to India. Because, conveniently enough, he had a quickly arranged business meeting there. The area he eventually ended up to wasn't such any sane person would've gone to willingly. Several pairs of eyes watched with a great deal of suspicion while he approached what had to be the most pathetic doctor's office he'd ever seen.

The man putting away medical supplies didn't turn to look towards him. Still it was apparent that he'd been noticed. "What do you want?"

Tony wasn't fazed. "To know why one of the world's best cardiothoracic surgeons is hiding here."

The doctor snorted. "I'm pretty sure you know, if you've managed to find me. Because I got sick of the job that was wearing me thin, had a nervous breakdown and beat up my boss. Isn't that how the story goes?" Finally the other turned to face him. Those incredibly sad and far too old eyes didn't match the forced snarky tone. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

This… wasn't going well. But Tony wasn't giving up. "I'm Tony Stark, and… I kind of need your help, Dr. Banner."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another slightly kinder chapter. We'll see just what comes next... Aaaw, those two got some more precious moments together!  
> Sooo... How was that? Any good, at all? PLEASE, do let me know!  
> Until next time! I really hope that you'll all join in for that one.  
> Take care!


	6. We Are on a Knife-Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Bruce Banner evaluates Peter and makes his call. But does fickle fate have something to say about the decision made?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a new emotional addition to story? I hope everyone's ready... (gulps)  
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments, love and support! They definitely mean more than I can say. (HUGS)  
> Okay, folks... It's time to jump into the chapter. I REALLY hope that you're emotionally ready for what's to come...!

The look on Dr. Bruce Banner's face wasn't exactly reassuring while the man went through Peter's medical files. Eventually the man groaned loudly and ran a hand through his slightly overgrown, disheveled hair. "Mr…" Seeing the arched eyebrow, the doctor corrected himself. "Tony, this kid…"

Tony was quick to raise hand. "I know, I know how it looks. But… If there's anyone who can help…"

"… it's a mentally unstable guy who disappeared for years?" Bruce sighed, shoulders slumping. "Look… His heart is really, really damaged. Honestly? A case like this… It's about one in a million."

Sounds like Peter, Tony mused bitterly. He clenched his jaw. "There's gotta be something", he pleaded. And Tony Stark never, ever pleaded.

Bruce inhaled deeply, eyes still on the bleak information in front of him. "I will examine him. But… I can't promise anything more. Because, honestly? I'm… not sure how much good I'll be."

Tony nodded. His heart thudded while hope began to rise. "How soon can you get started?"

Bruce nodded. The expression on his face suggested that he was wondering if the other man had listened to a word. "Tomorrow."

/

The following day, which happened to be Thursday, Peter didn't seem exactly thrilled when the boy was told what would happen. The child seemed petrified. But, clearly sensing how much him meeting the doctor meant to Tony and May, fought hard to hide his panic. "It's… not gonna hurt, right?"

May kissed the top of the boy's head. "No, larb, it won't. Dr. Banner will just listen to your heart for a bit. And then you'll get to see some cool machines."

Peter bit his lip. He cuddled Jarvis-the-robot tightly to his chest for comfort. "That… doesn't sound so bad." Which didn't keep the boy from looking terrified.

Tony forced a grin. "I know, right?" He really wanted to give the child, who finally seemed at least close to his age, a big hug, but May's presence held him back. (Later, for years and years to come, he'd wish from the bottom of his heart that he'd just embraced the opportunity.) "So… How about we take you to him?"

Peter nodded, far too brave for someone so young, pulling together all he had for the new battle.

Fifteen minutes later, while May had a chat with Bruce, Peter whispered in Tony's ear, voice shaking slightly from fear. "Mr. Stark? What if I… What if I fail the tests? What if I can't do it?"

Tony couldn't hold himself back. He pulled the boy closer with one arm, and the child melted to his comforting touch in a way he'd never, ever forget. "Then we'll come up with another game-plan", he murmured firmly. "Whatever happens… We'll face it together. That's what true Robot Warriors do."

Peter obviously appreciated his proclamation. But the boy's worries weren't soothed. The child was trembling. "I don't wanna disappoint May again. She's… She's so sad already." Which, apparently, was the root of the whole problem. The kid focused intently on his own, restlessly squirming hands. "And… I don't wanna disappoint you, either."

That… hurt. A lot. Tony gritted his teeth through the pain before he was able to produce speech. "Kid… You could never, ever disappoint either one of us. No matter what. Copy that, Space Traveler?"

Peter leaned his head against him. Seeking for comfort and reassurance. "Copy that."

That was when May made her way back to them. A forced smile on her face. "Okay, Pete. Dr. Banner's ready for you, now."

For a few more seconds Peter squeezed Tony's hand, tightly and desperately. Then the hold broke. For some ridiculous reason the loss of contact made the billionaire feel absolutely horrible.

/

Far later that evening Tony returned to the hospital, unable to stay away despite being drained from a string of infuriating business meetings that led to little results. A cold blade crossed his whole being when he entered Peter's room and didn't see a trace of the boy. Until he heard a woman singing. At first he thought that it was May, until he realized that this voice was much deeper. It seemed to come from under the bed.

"Hey, Pete", he greeted and began to approach. Eventually he was able to peer under the bed. The boy lay curled up there, holding a phone that transmitted the song. "What are you listening to?"

Peter swallowed and focused on the phone, biting the inside of his cheek. "Mom… recorded this, because I'm always stuck at hospitals. And… This song makes me feel better after nightmares. Or… when I get scared, or sad."

Tony nodded slowly. Fought to not let the heartbreak that revelation caused get the better of him. "Is that why you're down there? Because you're scared?"

Peter nodded and blinked furiously to hold back tears.

Tony's decision was made, right there. It seemed they both needed some comfort. "Can I join you? Because… I'm a bit scared, too." Which was a ridiculous understatement.

Peter was surprised for a moment, then nodded eagerly. So Tony lay down to the hospital floor, in his ridiculously expensive suit, and inched himself as close to the child as he could. Peter was more than happy to come closer still. Eventually the boy rested his head against his side and the hand holding the phone on his chest.

They were quiet for so long that Peter's barely audible voice caught him by surprise. "Remember when you heard me talking? On the balcony?" The boy worried his lower lip. "I… talk to mom, and Ben, too, sometimes. When something really good or bad happens. So they know I haven't forgotten them." The child sniffled, a sob or two breaking through. "I… I really miss them, Mr. Stark. A lot. Sometimes it really hurts. But… I don't think I'm ready to become a star with them yet."

Tony nodded. Not for the first time rendered uncharacteristically speechless by this kid. "Can you play that song again? It's helping, but… I need to hear it again."

Peter clearly agreed, because the child pressed 'play' immediately, and for a while the soothing voice of the boy's mother was the only sound heard.

/

Waiting for Bruce's verdict was nothing short of torture. Tony was both relieved and touched when May allowed him to accompany her to the doctor's office. She clearly needed someone's emotional support.

Bruce took a deep breath. "I've… gotta admit that I've never met a kid like Peter before." It was evident that the boy made quite an impression.

Those words succeeded in coaxing a smile from May. "You're not the first one I hear that from. He is one of a kind."

Tony couldn't have agreed more.

Bruce gave her one tiny, rare smile. Then sobered and focused on the test results in front of him. "So… As we've already established, Peter's heart is in a really bad condition. I've never performed exactly the kind of a surgery that he needs. I'm willing to try, though, if he doesn't get dramatically worse." A hand was raised before he or May could say a word. "But… I can't do it on my own. I also need to find an anesthesiologist who is willing to try. Because putting Peter to sleep is the most dangerous part of the whole operation. It's hard to predict how his heart would react to the medication used, or if he would be able to hold out for such a long surgery." The doctor's facial muscles tightened for a while. "This… is taking a huge risk. And the only thing I can promise is that I'll do my best. I need you to understand that, before we take the next step."

Tony's heart fluttered from a dangerous amount of hope. "But… You're willing to try."

Bruce nodded. "If he doesn't get worse, and if I find a team willing to take the risk with us… Yeah."

While May and Bruce continued to discuss what would happen next and May was offered a huge pile of forms to sign Tony slipped out of the room. He needed to see Peter. Immediately. He couldn't explain why but he did.

Peter woke up from light slumber when he entered the boy's room. The child blinked blearily at him and sat up. "Hi, Mr. Stark. Weren't you supposed to go to Paris?"

Tony shrugged. "The flight to Paris can wait. That's what private jets are for. I had to give you something first."

Peter seemed curious. "Oh? What?"

Without another word Tony wrapped his arms around the child and pulled the kid to a tight, tender hug. Almost instantly the boy clung back eagerly. That was how they stayed for a very long time.

"Mr. Stark?" Peter's voice was muffled from fatigue and how the child had buried his face to his shoulder. "You're good at giving hugs."

Tony did the only thing he could think of. He chuckled, hope still bubbling in his chest. "That's… the best compliment anyone's ever given me. And… Start calling me Tony, kid."

"Okay, Mr. Stark", Peter mumbled, half-asleep already.

/

The hope lived until that Saturday. At four in the morning Tony woke up, groggy from fatigue and a lingering stress-headache, to his phone's bleep. The message was from May. And as usual, no good news came at that hour of a day.

Peter just had another heart attack.

Once again Tony found May from the waiting room. She stood in the middle of the room, gasping wheezing breaths that probably carried no oxygen all the way to her lungs. Her eyes were wide, wild and full of unshed tears. Along with so much helpless fury that it was chilling. She seemed ready to explode.

There was nothing Tony could do for Peter. But at least he might be able to help the boy's aunt, just a little bit. He placed a gentle, uncharacteristically tentative hand on her shoulder. "Let's… Let's step outside for moment, yeah? Just for a minute."

May shook her head at first. But soon seemed to realize that for as long as she stayed in the confines of four walls, she wouldn't be able to breathe. She was tense and unsteady on her feet while he led her, escorting her to the same balcony where he once spent a moment with Peter. The fresh air worked its magic fairly quickly. Her gasps became less strained, fiercer. Until all the pain she was feeling finally came out in five incredibly loud, barely human howls of sheer anguish.

Tony stood there watching her unleash the rage and agony, feeling like an intruder and wishing that he had enough breath to do something similar.

Roughly ten minutes later they made a silent agreement to go back inside. At exactly the right time. Because almost as soon as they reached the waiting room a grim-faced Bruce appeared, motioning May to come over. Tony wanted to follow but was physically unable to. It felt like his legs had transformed to lead.

He couldn't breathe from the storm blowing inside him. Couldn't scream or cry. But his body needed to react, desperately. So he did. Without considering the action for even a second he whirled around and swung his fist at the wall repeatedly. He only found more fuel for the anger from discovering how much it hurt.

Once he was done he panted. And finally realized that he wasn't alone. Embarrassment and a million other feelings made heat rise to his cheeks when he turned his head to see a blond-haired man in a police officer's uniform. He had no idea how long the man had been there, watching, but knew with uncomfortable certainty that the stranger had seen too much.

The officer didn't seem to consider his actions the slightest bit suspicious or bizarre. The man's incredibly sad eyes held understanding. "I… kind of recognize that look on your face. For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry."

Tony nodded, a little dazed. Unsure how to react. "Thanks." What else could he say? "I'm…"

A brief smile crossed the other's face but vanished quickly. "I know who you are. And… I saw the news, about the kid. I hope he'll get better."

Tony nodded again, because he didn't seem capable of doing anything else anymore. "Yeah, well… So do I." He hoped so hard and fiercely that it scared him.

The officer seemed to have more to say. But just then a woman's voice interrupted them. "Clint?" There was deep sympathy in the hazel eyes of the nurse in her early thirties. "I found it. It's… been a while, but… We kept everything safe."

Curious to a fault, Tony felt his eyes straying towards the cardboard box the nurse was holding. Soon he wished he hadn't looked. There was some text and quite a bit of numbers written on the box. But two things stood out. The name 'Barton, L', and a date over eight months earlier. Then he noticed the hideous, badly stained teddy bear and a schoolbag that had exactly three drops of blood on it. And he wasn't able to focus on anything else. The sight made him feel sick to his stomach but he couldn't look away.

Until the nurse moved, offering a flyer to the officer. Clint, apparently. She gave the man a sad smile. "It might help…"

Clint was already leaving. Squeezing the box so hard that his knuckles turned white. His words interrupted her sharply. "Thanks." With five long strides the officer had reached the elevator. The flyer remained in the nurse's still outstretched hand, forgotten or ignored.

Once again Tony looked. Despite knowing that he shouldn't have. If he'd felt sick before…

'Support group for parents who have lost a child', read on top of the paper in beautiful cursive.

Tony was so overwhelmed that he didn't notice Pepper arriving with the same elevator the officer took down. He didn't notice her until her arms were already wrapped around him, keeping him together when he was only just realizing that he was falling apart. He clung to her with the sheer power of despair. In that pitch-black moment she was the one good thing, the one ray of light, he had to hold on to. And he loved her from the bottom of his aching and breaking heart.

"It's… It's so late", he mumbled. "And you have that meeting…"

"It's just a stupid meeting", Pepper murmured, her tone soft and sad. "Nothing that can't be rearranged. Nothing important. This is where I need to be."

Tony couldn't speak, even those few words it would've taken to thank her. Instead he held her even tighter. It was the first time he realized that he wanted to marry her. At the worst possible moment. But timing had never been his strong area, anyway.

/

With Pepper's help Tony finally made his way to where May and a medical team were still talking. There was far more medical jargon than Tony could handle. Big words that didn't make sense to his wildly buzzing, panicking mind. But the looks on the medical professionals' faces, especially the unshed tears in Bruce's eyes, hammered the message home. This was a massive step towards worse.

Tony's heart shuddered, echoed hollowly when the hope he recently felt slipped away and left a gaping hole. "But… He'll be okay, right? Like after the previous time."

Bruce sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping from defeat. "Tony… This was way worse than the previous time. We… We don't know…" The doctor trailed off for a moment. "The next day or two are going to be critical."

Tony pinched himself. Repeatedly. The nightmare wouldn't end. Somewhere at his right May continued to heave silent, proud sobs. Pepper's hand in his shook with her gasp.

It was the pretty much most horrible moment possible for the two women to meet for the first time.

/

A couple of hours later Pepper managed to convince May to accompany her to the hospital's cafeteria. Because it looked like the frantic aunt, who was clearly in a state of shock, was in a desperate need of a break. Just for a moment. May only consented once Tony swore that he'd look after Peter in the meantime.

Tony knew to anticipate that going to see Peter would be one of the hardest things he'd ever done. He was proven right quickly. The sight he encountered paralyzed him to the room's doorway for a long while.

Once again Peter was surrounded by far too much machinery, entirely too many tubes and wires. But this time an oxygen mask wasn't enough help. A tube had been shoved into the child's throat, and one of the machines did breathing for him.

Peter seemed so fragile that Tony was scared to touch him. But he had to, needed to. For the sake of his sanity. He took the child's hand and squeezed as tightly as he dared to. The boy's skin felt sickeningly cold.

Tony swallowed thickly, his eyes blurring from tears that refused to fall. It took a long time before he found a tiny fraction of his voice. "Please, kid… I… I know that it probably hurts right now, a lot. But… Please, don't give up. Not yet." He tightened his hold subconsciously when a monitor reported a stumble in the heartbeat. The pain he experienced right there was the kind he'd only felt when his parents died. It threatened to crush him, suffocate him. "You need to keep fighting. Just a little while longer. Don't… Don't give up now, when there's finally some hope." (He refused to believe that it was fool's hope.)

Only the machinery answered to his pleas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah... That just... Okay... (takes a deep breath) For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry...!  
> Soooo, I'm not sure if I dare to ask, but... Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me know! I can take it.  
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that you'll all join in for that one. For better or for worse...  
> Take care!


	7. We Wake Up to a Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality and severity of Peter's health problems smacks several people in the face. Will he make it through the newest great scare? And how will Tony deal with the aftermath?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's updating time again, folks! Is everyone still okay the previous chapter? No? Let's move on, anyway.  
> THANK YOU, so, so much, for the ASTONISHING amount of comments and love this story has received! It's the Tom Holland's Peter magic, isn't it? (HUGS)  
> Awkay... Now, I can't promise you a painless ride, I'm afraid. So... Take a deep breath. Brace yourselves. AAAAND, off we go. Hang in there through the turbulence!

Peter slept for a long time, partially with the aid of medication. To have any hope of continuing the battle the child needed the rest. As necessary as the waiting was, it was also incredibly frustrating. Because the boy had stopped breathing for a considerable amount of time and there was no way of telling if there was brain-damage before consciousness was regained.

On Tuesday the horrible breathing tube was finally removed. Peter kept them in suspense for a while, took several agonizing moments before starting to suck proper independent breaths. The medical professionals placed an oxygen mask on the furiously fighting child's face and murmured softly to each other that the 'situation' had to be monitored carefully. Tony, in his childish and pointless frustrated fury, felt tempted to show them a 'situation'. The incredibly annoying waiting game continued.

May sang to Peter often, especially when the boy's heartrate showed signs of faltering. Sometimes her voice broke and she had to wipe her eyes. Tony, for his part, felt absolutely useless. This wasn't something he could buy or charm the way out of. All he could do was wait and make sure that the boy was as comfortable as possible.

Outside the building the swarm of reporters kept growing. Everyone wanted to catch the first snapshot of the special kid who charmed the supposedly heartless billionaire. Eventually the unwanted attention got so bad that Tony started dreading every time he had to leave. All those intruding questions tore at him, especially with how bad things were. And every time he left Peter's room he wondered with a lump in his throat if the boy would still be there when he came back.

Peter, however, didn't seem to have any intention to give up yet. By some trick of fate it was Thursday when the child's eyelids began to flutter. Tony and May, who'd both nearly dozed off, were instantly alerted.

"Pete? Honey? That's it, open your eyes", May coaxed softly. She stroked the boy's hair gently. "It's time to wake up, now."

Peter did, being the obedient kid he always was. The child's impossibly heavy eyelids parted a fraction and a hazy pair of eyes filled with relief upon taking in them both. A tiny, stubborn hand wrestled with the oxygen mask until it'd been pushed aside. "… really here?"

May was rendered speechless so Tony cleared his throat and stepped in. "Yeah, kid. Of course we're here."

Peter nodded, even more relieved than before. "… had a bad dream", the child murmured. "… was fading away, and I was scared… You were there, and you were scared, too… Then everything disappeared…"

For once in his life Tony wasn't ashamed of the tears filling his eyes. No matter what his father always said. He took the boy's hand and squeezed. "No one's going anywhere, Space Traveler. Or fading into stardust." Not yet, not yet, NOT YET.

It seemed to be enough reassurance for Peter's child's faith. The boy drifted to what seemed like calm sleep. Soon a medical team appeared to check up on the kid. Tony and May were ushered to the far too familiar waiting room.

"He's…" May swallowed thickly and wiped her eyes. "He's gonna be okay, right?" It sounded like she was begging.

"Yeah." Tony wished that he would've sounded more convincing. That he would've felt more convinced. "Of course he'll be okay."

They said little more after that. Eventually Bruce entered the room, seeming as tired as they felt. "Peter woke up for a few moments. He was a bit shaken but seemed lucid. Right now he's resting and I'd prefer him staying that way. He's had it really rough."

The nods May and Tony gave were almost synchronized. The billionaire found his voice first. "So… What next? You'll operate on him, right?" It sounded like the logical next step, now that the worst of the worst was over.

Bruce's eyes filled with so much grief and defeat that it made Tony's stomach plummet. "I… I wish I could. But if he was sedated heavily enough for surgery right now, for hours… His heart wouldn't be able to take it. It would just… It'd be additional stress and pain, nothing more." The doctor's shoulders slumped. "There's… There's nothing I can do."

Tony wanted to hiss and snarl. Fight the grim verdict with all he had. But the expression on Bruce's face made him deflate. Hammered home that even with all his wealth and contacts there was nothing he could do.

Peter's battle was lost long before Tony ever met the boy.

Bruce didn't seem a whole lot less emotional than he felt. Clearly the kid had managed to worm his way under the doctor's skin as well. "Peter… doesn't have a lot of time left. So I… I think we should try and make that time as good as possible."

May had been eerily quiet and painfully tense beside Tony the whole time. But at those words something broke. So suddenly that it startled both men her knees gave out and she slumped to the floor, her hand clawing at her chest desperately. And then she was sobbing hysterically, sounding like her heart had been ripped from her chest. Wasn't that essentially what she was going through?

Tony just stood there. Barely able to breathe through the tightness wrapping around his throat. And wondered if this was all a part of some sick nightmare.

/

Upon leaving the hospital Tony passed by the reporters camped outside like they didn't exist, because he didn't see or hear them. He had no idea how he made it to his car, or where he was going. Somehow he ended up to the only person he could think of aside Peter.

Pepper greeted him with a tight, almost desperate hug. She grabbed him quickly enough to keep him from seeing her tears. "May, she… She sent me a message… Oh, god, Tony, I'm so…"

"Will you marry me?" The words were blurted out before Tony could process them. When Pepper tried to squirm free of his hold he held on tighter. He couldn't stand the idea of losing even a hint of her close proximity. "I… I get that this is the worst timing ever… And you…. you'd deserve something hell a lot more romantic. Someone way… way, way, way better. I don't… I don't even have a damned ring. But…" He choked on the weight of the words that were tangling together. "But, I would've done this, anyway. Eventually. Because… Because I've done a lot of thinking lately."

"That's new", Pepper whispered hoarsely, one of her hands stroking his hair lovingly.

Tony regarded her half-hearted teasing with a sob-filled chuckle. "You're the only one who has never left me or given up on me, no… no matter how many times I've screwed up. And I… I need you to know how much… how much I love you. I need you. Because I'm… I'm kind of falling apart here, and… I need to know that I'm not losing you, too. I have to do this, so… so I won't have to regret… never asking…" He trailed off.

"Tony." Pepper kissed his cheek with so much affection that it took whatever little breath he had away. Then pushed him gently just far enough to be able to meet his eyes. "You'll never, ever lose me. No matter what. I swear. And…" This time she kissed his lips. It tasted like joy and sadness rolled into one. "Of course I'll marry you."

Tony kissed her with every little bit of love and despair there was in his broken heart, and somehow it was enough to keep him afloat in the darkest of nights.

/

Waiting for Peter to wake up again was more than a little nerve-wrecking. Because Tony and May suspected well in beforehand that the child would, as per usual, see far too much. Read something from the looks on their faces.

Evening had darkened long ago and aside the machinery's too familiar noises the room was quiet. The two adults keeping vigil didn't feel like talking much. What was there to say when their worst fears were slowly becoming realized?

In all the silence it was easy to hear the sheets rustling softly when Peter moved a little. The child moaned in pain and squeezed his eyes more tightly closed. The whimper which eventually followed was so quiet that it took the adults long to realize that it was actual speech. "… cold … May, why's it cold…?" (Even in his current, miserable condition, despite not having opened his eyes yet, the boy trusted that his aunt was there. That it was her hand holding his. That amount of trust was baffling to Tony.)

May grabbed a quilt with her free hand and covered the child gently with it. "It's the heart hiccupping and forgetting to get blood where it's supposed to be. That's why it's cold, remember?" she explained softly, her tone choked from all the emotions she attempted to hold back. She brushed his cheek tenderly with her fingers, careful not to touch too close to his bluish lips. "Try to get some more rest, larb."

Peter obviously had no intention to do anything such. With a visible amount of effort the boy cracked his eyes open. After a couple of slow blinks the bleary gaze inspected May, then darted towards Tony. It was entirely too easy to see the exact moment when realization dawned. Because tears filled the child's eyes. "I… I failed, right? The… The surgery thing. I failed." Grief, guilt and sheer terror radiated from Peter while the boy began to tremble. The tears started falling while a desperate pair of eyes flew between him and May, finally locking on her when she wasn't able to keep her sorrow from showing. "I… I tried, I swear…! I tried so hard… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…!"

May couldn't hold herself back. Even with the risk of causing further discomfort. It didn't look like the boy wanted her to hold back, either. She pulled the child close and he clung to her. "Not your fault", May announced as firmly as anyone could while crying. "Not your fault, honey. Ever."

That… was about as much as Tony could stand without losing control over his own emotions. He fled the room and sauntered aimlessly. He didn't exactly get far.

Tony was, apparently, about to enter the ward's balcony. But it was occupied. Bruce stood there, and the doctor wasn't alone. While Bruce talked quickly, unshed tears shining in his eyes, a redhaired woman in a police officer's uniform stood listening, her back towards the billionaire. Tony was just close enough to catch a few words.

"… you know I'm here …"

"… saw you … imagine that my best friend wouldn't tell me you're back …"

Tony didn't really want to hear more, and he didn't think he should've heard even that much. So he went to fetch some horrible, overprized coffee. When he returned the mystery-woman was gone and Bruce was stepping back inside from the balcony.

Tony was many… uncomplimentary things. Nosy to a fault was one of them. So he wasn't able to watch his tongue. "I… saw you with that woman." Under different circumstances, if he hadn't seen the other man's anguish, he might've joked. "Who was she?"

Bruce cleared his throat and looked down. "My ex-wife." The doctor's phone started ringing loudly, startling them both and cutting all possible questions short. The man seemed more than happy to hurry away, despite being visibly unnerved by the caller ID. "Sorry, I've gotta go."

Watching the doctor's disappearing back and finally able to not think about Peter for a few seconds, Tony mused that it looked like everyone in the hospital had a story.

/

Far later that evening Tony was returning to Peter's room when he stopped upon seeing May stood outside it. The sight would've worried him if it wasn't for the slightly watery smile on her face. "What…?"

May pressed a finger to her lips and nodded towards the room. His interest piqued, Tony faced the same direction. If there was a time when he imagined that he didn't have a heart… Well, now it was evident that one existed, because it swell and broke simultaneously.

As it turned out Peter had a visitor. Slowly and a little unsteadily MJ was making her way towards the boy's bed. This time she wasn't wearing her wig, which revealed that there was very little, short dark hair left. This time it was all her, not some role she was trying to play for the world. Just a very sick little girl who, no matter how much she tried to hide it, was clearly terrified for her friend.

She shuddered, just a little, when Peter's eyes fluttered open. He lit up to a radiant smile at the sight of her. "Hi."

"Hi, loser." It might've sounded like an insult if it wasn't said with so much almost disguised affection. It seemed that MJ wasn't at her strongest, either. But she was as stubborn as her eyes were fierce. Making sure that she wouldn't mess with any tubes, wires and machinery she lay down beside Peter. Then pressed her face against the boy's shoulder, as though that would've hidden how sad seeing him like that made her. "I hate it when you're this sick", she mumbled.

Peter patted what little hair she had in a feeble attempt to comfort her. His eyes were full of the sadness she refused to show. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, stupid." MJ's hand grabbed his tightly, both kids holding on as though for dear life. "It's not your fault."

"Hmm." All of a sudden Peter was reaching out towards a drawer on the tiny table beside his bed. "Last week I made you a Birthday present. Well, May helped."

MJ frowned. "It's not my Birthday for months", she pointed out.

Peter shrugged. "It can be if we decide that it is." To the adults it was painfully obvious why he wanted to give her the present now. Because he most likely wouldn't be… around anymore on the actual date.

MJ was, mercifully, too young to understand. She smirked. "Cool!" She nodded towards the boy's closed fist. "So, what is it?"

"Close your eyes", he commanded. Once she obeyed he began to wrap a bracelet around her wrist. Right next to the hospital's bracelet. It was just three strings braided together. Pink, red and blue. But it looked so like them that it was beautiful, even to an adult's eyes. A friendship bracelet. Tying it was clearly a challenge with only one hand, but somehow the boy managed. "Okay. You can open them, now." He barely waited until she'd complied before asking. Nervousness made his voice a pitch higher. "Well? Do you like it?"

MJ was good at playing tough for someone so young and small. But even she wasn't talented enough to hide just how touched she was. "It's awesome!" On the spur of the moment she placed a tiny, chaste kiss to his cheek.

Peter blinked twice, slowly. A tiny hint of pink appeared to his cheeks. "What… was that for?" he sputtered, genuinely dumbfounded.

MJ shrugged. The mask of indifference and confidence was firmly back in place. "It's a girl-thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Okay", Peter murmured. Accepting her answer without questions. Only minutes later the children fell asleep cuddled together, their hands still entwined without either noticing.

Watching the scene unfold, Tony learned that it was entirely possible for something to be both one of the most beautiful and one of the most horrible things you've ever seen.

/

On the Monday following Peter waking up Tony was finally able to convince May into going home to get some proper rest. He had to use all his negotiation skills and promise to call her if anything happened about a million times. But he considered the victory worth the battle.

And then, he headed right into the next battle.

Carefully, scared that he'd cause damage somehow, Tony sat to Peter's bedside and ruffled the child's hair. "You can stop pretending, kid. I know that you're not really asleep."

Peter cracked one eye open and grinned sheepishly. "It's bad to cheat. But… I didn't want May to know that I can't sleep. She worries too much."

Tony frowned. "Oh? Is there… a reason why you can't sleep?" He was so lousy at this…

Peter bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. "I… get bad dreams… And…" The boy huffed from frustration. "It's stupid."

"It's not if it's bothering you that much", Tony argued with patience he hadn't known was in him.

Peter's eyes welled up for a second. But no tears fell. "I… I'm scared that if I go to sleep… Then I won't wake up. That my heart hiccups again and…" The child trailed off.

Tony sighed. He lay down and made himself comfortable, so that the boy got the chance to curl up against him. "Pete… I get that you're scared. But… No one can go without sleep forever."

"I know." Peter turned his head so that the man couldn't see the child's face. "That's why it's stupid." A small hand fisted to grab a tight hold of his shirt. "Can I… Can I stay up with you instead, Mr. Stark? I like talking to you."

Tony wasn't sure if he wanted to smile or cry. He couldn't quite manage either. "I like talking to you, too." He leaned his head against Peter's, which made the child melt happily against him. "But you really do need sleep." He pursed his lips. "I… can't remember any bedtime stories." No one ever bothered to tell him one. "So… How about I tell you a real superhero story?"

Peter looked at him with wide, excited eyes. Pain and sorrow forgotten for a stolen moment. "Are superheroes real?"

"Sometimes. Not in the comic-book way, but… Yeah. Some people are real superheroes. They save people and try to make the world a better place, no matter what." Tony turned his gaze to the ceiling. If he really focused, he could still hear his dad's voice telling the story he was about to repeat. "My dad's hero was a soldier named Steve Rogers. There was a huge war back then and Rogers did a lot of amazing stuff until…" … he was killed when his plane crashed just before the war ended. "… he passed away." Tony drifted deeper into his thoughts. "Rogers even had a proper superhero name. A lot of people called him Captain America."

"That is a cool superhero name", Peter mused enthusiastically, despite the exhaustion creeping into the child's voice.

"Uh huh." A lot of the stories about Steve Tony had been exposed to since childhood weren't exactly kid-friendly. But there was one that could be transformed into such, with minor alterations. "Now let me tell you how he saved his best friend in the whole wide world, Bucky Barnes…"

By the time the story was over they were both absolutely exhausted. But neither felt quite ready to go to sleep. "That was a great bedtime story", Peter complimented quietly, his head resting on Tony's shoulder. "'bet he's the brightest star."

Tony wasn't able to hold back a smile. He kept staring at the ceiling because it made forgetting the bleak future easier. "Definitely one of the brightest", he agreed uncharacteristically softly.

Peter yawned and succeeded in tightening his hold on him. "'don't wanna talk about stars anymore." The boy sounded like he'd almost dozed off already. But not ready to drift away yet. "Mr. Stark? Thank you, for helping us so much. And… I larb you." The child's cheeks colored when he realized what he said. It was nearly enough to make him seem healthy for a second. "I just… I wanna say that, before I fall asleep, 'cause… It's important to not leave things unsaid. Just… Just in case. Ben always told me so."

Tony's eyes overflowed, right there. Damned it with this kid…! "I love you, too, Pete", he murmured. He didn't dare to look towards the child, because he wanted to believe that the boy heard him before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah. That was... pretty painful. (whimpers) Those poor, poor darlings! So much pain and heartbreak. We'll see just what'll happen in the next chapter...  
> Soooo... Everyone still okay? Thoughts? Comments? BRING THEM ON! I can take it. I love hearing from you!  
> Until next time! I really hope that you're all still up for it after THIS...  
> Take care!


	8. We Breathe Through the Pain and Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony share a lovely moment. But it doesn't take long before fickle fate catches up with them. The hourglass is running out terrifyingly quickly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what, folks? This emotional ride is about to continue. Whether any of us is ready for it or not... (chuckles nervously)  
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all your comments, kudos-clicks and love! The warm and fuzzy feeling I get, knowing how many other people out there love Pete AND the idea of Iron-dad... No words! (HUGS)  
> Okay. It's time to plunge into the new chapter. Take a deep breath... Do as the chapter's title suggests... And try to hang in there...!

Things had reached a point where Tony didn't dare to switch off his phone for even a second. Because if something happened, good or bad… He would've never forgiven himself if he didn't find out immediately. It was ridiculously hard to keep putting on the façade of an aloof playboy billionaire who didn't care about anything but money and his own pleasure. And it was frustratingly hard to care about business meetings when a little boy was fighting for his life and losing. The hardest of all was facing the swarm of reporters asking stuff that was none of their business. Didn't they have any respect for a sick child and his aunt? Unlike most people thought Tony had never enjoyed the fame his fortune brought along. Now it was downright excruciating.

One rainy afternoon one of his associates read an article speculating on Tony's role in Peter's life and praising the billionaire as a hero. The woman nodded with apparent satisfaction. "You really are a genius, Tony", she complimented with a sickening amount of sincerity. "This is the best publicity stunt you've ever pulled."

Tony wasn't quite sure what he responded. Or if he managed to utter a word before whirling around and marching out of the room. (Because leaving was a far better option than resorting to violence.) He couldn't focus, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. He'd had enough panic attacks to recognize the warning signs of one.

In the end Tony locked himself to a toilet's stall. After wheezing uselessly a few times he finally managed to suck some actual oxygen into his lungs. Which was when he did something he'd been itching to do for ages. He screamed, at the top of his lungs. From the bottom of the heart that was supposed to be made of cold metal.

Tony didn't realize that he wasn't alone until he stepped out of the stall and faced a wide-eyed janitor staring at him. He cleared his throat, embarrassment coloring his cheeks. "It's, ah… been a stressful day."

The janitor nodded very slowly. He wondered if the poor guy even spoke English. Then the smaller man scurried out of the room. Tony stared at the closed door and lost it entirely. He dissolved to a fit of hysterical giggles that continued long after tears filled his eyes.

/

Of course Tony had seen Peter with his camera. But it didn't strike him how much the boy used it until he visited the kid that Thursday. It was a challenge to hold back a chuckle when he entered the hospital room and saw the photographs spread everywhere. Peter was putting them all to a photo-album with a look of intense concentration on his face, tongue sticking out from between teeth.

"That… is impressive", Tony whistled. "And so cool! I haven't seen a photo album in ages."

Peter gave him a radiant smile. "Ben never liked the unprinted ones. I don't like the them, either. You can't touch them."

Tony looked through the photos. A lot of them had captured members of the hospital's staff. There were numerous ones of May, and almost as many of Ned and MJ. And then there were other kids. All of them were visibly very unwell but almost every single one smiled. The billionaire didn't want to know how many of the kids were gone. How many final pictures were included.

"A meeting was cancelled." By Tony himself. "So… I've got a bit more time to spare than usual. Can I help? Because that looks like a lot of fun." He chose to blatantly ignore all the heartbreaking factors.

Peter nodded immediately. "It'd be awesome!" At first the boy told him about the children in the pictures. Far more names than the man could keep up with flew by. It was clear that the child was particularly fond of a pretty girl named Liz. According to the boy she was far away, now. Tony was happier not knowing what that meant.

Predictably the emotional and physical toll soon got too much. Less than an hour later Peter was growing visibly exhausted. "Hey." Tony nudged the boy's shoulder gently. "How about we put away the pictures and continue later? Because it looks like you need a nap."

Peter nodded, eerily quiet. They put every snapshot and the album away with utmost care. Once they were done the boy glanced towards the room's window and a thought seemed to cross his mind. "Mr. Stark?" There was a great deal of hesitation and hope in Peter's eyes. And the billionaire knew that he wouldn't be able to say 'no' to whatever came next. "Can we have an adventure? Just for… like, five minutes? I won't overdo it, I swear! I just… I wanna get out of this room."

Every little bit of reason in Tony screamed that it was a mistake. But how was he supposed to refuse this? "Only three minutes. And if you feel bad, or get too tired… Then you need to let me know immediately. Do we have a deal?"

Peter nodded eagerly. The boy would've probably promised his arm for a tiny breather outside the room's four walls. (Poor kid must've been getting claustrophobic.) "Deal!" The child's joy could've lit up the whole hospital.

Not wanting to take the risk of making Peter walk, Tony helped the child sit on his shoulders. Which made the boy whoop out of excitement, once the kid had ensured half a dozen times that it was actually okay and it wouldn't hurt the billionaire. They toured through the whole ward, mercifully not running into any members of staff who would've probably berated them. (They didn't run into May, either, which would've been scarier because she might've actually strangled Tony.) Eventually they ended up to the familiar balcony.

It was the perfect day. Sun was shining and the sky was clear of all clouds. Peter obviously appreciated it. Appearing utterly blissed, the child closed his eyes and spread his arms wide, as though flying. Tony couldn't help but chuckle at the kid's antics.

Peter was still in that same pose when Tony became aware of the time. "You know… It's already been fifteen minutes. But…" He pursed his lips. "So what? Let's be naughty and make it five more minutes."

The smile of utter contentment Peter gave, right there, made the man's heart thud. Then the boy wrapped a pair of arms around his neck and leaned his head against Tony's. Nothing needed to be said.

They enjoyed the moment and each other's company. Savored every minute and the sun's gentle caress. Good thing they did, too. Because only a little more than two hours later the sky came crashing down on them.

/

Peter was just falling asleep and Tony flipped through the channels of the room's TV when Bruce walked in. Both adult and child tensed up, their hearts filling with dread. Because the look on the doctor's face promised no good news.

Bruce drew in a deep, steadying breath. "So… There were all those new tests, remember? I just went through the results with May and now we've gotta talk about them, too, bud." There was apology and something like dread in the doctor's eyes. "I… sort of thought she'd be here already."

Peter clearly wasn't listening. The boy stared at the doctor's face, eyes filling with the kind of horror no child should've had to experience. "It's… It's bad. Right?" The lack of response only made Peter grow more frantic. "How long?" That someone so young had been through enough to know to ask that was almost more heartbreaking than anything else.

Tony himself couldn't think, move or breathe. He just stared. It was like observing a horror-story unfolding.

Bruce swallowed thickly. His eyes watered for a second. "We should wait for May…"

"How long?" Peter was pleading, nearly crying out. "Dr. Banner, please…! I… I've gotta know…! I've gotta now, so I can…" The child trailed off.

There was no stalling or avoiding it. Not when the boy had already picked up on the worst part. Bruce clenched his jaw before letting the words fall. "Maybe a month", the doctor answered quietly.

Tony wondered if getting stabbed might've hurt less. Four weeks? That… That was all…?

Peter stared, too. The child's breaths began to wheeze. "A month?" Of course the boy had been far too aware of the reality of his situation. But to have it slamming at his face like this… A desperate pair of eyes turned towards Tony while the kid struggled even more to breathe, each inhale a war. "Mr. Stark… I don't wanna…" Peter crawled towards him and slumped into his arms. Held on so very tightly. "I'm not ready to go…!" The boy's lips were turning blue. "I don't wanna go…!"

Tony's agony transformed to terror when it sounded like Peter didn't manage to breathe at all. Was this another heart attack…? No, no, no, NO…!

"Tony. TONY!" He hadn't noticed Bruce approaching until the doctor's volume grew. "It's not his heart, okay? Calm down and step back." The man gave him a sad smile upon noticing his reluctance. "It's okay. I'll help him, I promise. Just step back."

It was ridiculously hard. But Tony was still coherent enough to realize that Bruce was right. So he let go, no matter how much Peter's whine of protest at the lost contact burned, and stepped back. Painfully tense and barely able to breathe properly himself. Unable to do anything but watch.

Slowly, giving the boy time to notice what he was doing, Bruce sat to the edge of Peter's bed. Then pulled the child closer, so that they were back to chest. "Pete? You'll be okay", the doctor promised gently. The boy was still crying and gasping, wheezing, but fought visibly to listen. "I know that this hurts. That this is really scary. But it's not your heart this time. You're having a panic attack. Do you know what those are?"

Peter nodded barely noticeably, tears still falling but slowing down.

Bruce also nodded. "Do you feel me breathing? Try to match my pace. In… Out…"

"… can't …"

"Yeah, you can. I know you can." Bruce sounded incredibly calm, even though pain and sorrow were clearly visible in the man's far too old eyes. "Just focus on me, okay? And my breathing. Focus on them. In… Out… Gently…" Slowly yet surely the child's body seemed to be complying. "Good job, just like that. In.. Out…"

Peter's breaths shuddered. And the boy's eyes weren't dry. But at least the kid wasn't struggling anymore.

Bruce gave the boy a few moments to adjust and recover before speaking softly. "I'm gonna run it past May. But I think we should ask Sam to stop by later today, because you two could probably use a chat. Does that sound like a good idea?"

Peter nodded slowly, eyelids drooping. A panic attack of that magnitude was a massive strain on anyone's system. Let alone to a child who was so badly ill.

Bruce ruffled Peter's hair and the boy, as always, leaned eagerly to the touch. "Now get some sleep. You've earned it."

Peter, however, didn't seem quite happy with that idea. The boy's eyes found Tony's, full of apology and fear. The billionaire had to use all his acting skills to create a fragile smile and it probably came out all wrong. "Don't you dare worry about me, Space Traveler. Maybe I'll take a nap, too." Like there was any way he could sleep after this… "I'll be here when you wake up." To make sure that the boy would wake up, because that was definitely the child's second concern.

Peter nodded faintly. Then, not having enough energy for anything else, the boy closed his eyes and fell asleep in Bruce's arms in a matter of seconds. Gently, careful not to disturb the child's much-needed rest, the doctor tucked in the boy. The men exchanged a look and left the room in mutual understanding.

In the hallway Tony emitted a heavy, shuddering sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "You have no idea how happy I am that you handled that. I… I just…"

"…froze?" Bruce's smile was soft and understanding. The doctor looked down, concentrating intently on his own shoes. "I… get it. Because… I've been there."

Tony blinked slowly from poorly concealed surprise.

"I'm not supposed to share stuff like this. But… Maybe I can make an exception, just this once." Bruce bit his lower lip. Then murmured barely audibly. "Two years ago… or is it three already… There was a kid. Pietro." The name's familiarity was a bitter twist of fate. "His family lived in this tiny, war-torn country. The rescue crew was too late for his parents, but… They found him, and his twin-sister. They were a couple of years older than Peter now." The doctor inhaled heavily, lifting his gaze towards the ceiling. "The girl… She was really sick, already unconscious when they were found. But… The boy refused to give up, often said that she was still talking to him although she never woke up. He wouldn't let go of her hand unless one of them was taken to tests." The man swallowed laboriously. "Pietro's heart… It was in a horrible condition, so I was called in. And he was…" The brief laugh bubbled from sadness and sorrow. "He was an amazing kid. Really smart. And such a loudmouth. So, a few weeks after I first met him… I started wondering if Natasha, my wife, and I should adopt him, and his sister. I couldn't tell anyone, because I wouldn't have been allowed to treat him. And I couldn't tell Natasha because of confidentiality issues. But… I started imagining that the twins would join our family, that they were the kids we'd been waiting for almost since we met." Bruce breathed hard and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And then… Then his sister died. I'd feared and almost expected as much, because she was so ill. But… Pietro hadn't seen it coming. No matter how many times we warned him. It crushed him." The doctor wiped his eyes when moisture appeared. "I was… I was there, when he had a heart attack, less than a day after his sister passed away. I was there, and… I froze. I couldn't do a thing but watch while others tried to save my boy. I was… I was there, and I watched him…" The man's voice trailed off. It took a long time before a fragment of it was found. "So, what… what happened to you, just now… The freezing… I get it." A few breaths later the doctor had gathered himself enough for the final part of the story. "After that… I couldn't do my work. So… My boss scolded me, told me to get a hold of myself. That it was just a kid, I should get over it. And, well… I didn't react well. I… became a lousy husband, too." Bruce's jaw clenched. "I had to leave, because… I would've fallen apart here. And Natasha… I couldn't tell her what was wrong. I just… I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, even when I should've. So I kept disappointing her, slipping away emotionally. I had to end it, before my pain would've crushed her, too. So…" The man shrugged. "We filed the papers. I went to India. She didn't."

Tony… had no idea what to say. All the platitudes that came to his mind sounded stupid and hollow. So instead he squeezed Bruce's shoulder.

After a couple of silent minutes Tony decided that it was time to direct the conversation elsewhere. "I'm… not sure if you're allowed to tell me, but… Who's Sam?"

"Sam Wilson. Peter's therapist." May was approaching them with an arched eyebrow, clearly seeing the tears both men tried to hold back. She didn't seem fully composed herself. "What's… going on here?"

Tony shrugged as carelessly as he could. "Oh, you know. Just some male-bonding."

/

When Tony returned several hours later, after doing some actual work and attempting futilely to sort out his head, Peter lay curled up with his back towards the door. Which was unusual. A brief frown crossed the billionaire's face. "Hey, Pete. Where's May?"

Peter swallowed loudly and used one fist to wipe his face. "Talking to Sam." The boy's voice was quiet, but not from fatigue.

Tony had a sudden hunch of what might be wrong. He sat to the edge of the bed. "Talking to Sam is a bit rough, isn't it?"

Peter nodded faintly. There was another laborious gulp. "It… It helps. But… I feel sad, sometimes. After. And tired. And… embarrassed."

"I can imagine", Tony sympathized. "I feel that way after I talk to Rhodey. He's my therapist."

Peter still didn't look at him. But jolted from surprise. "You… have a therapist, too?"

"A lot of people do. It's not something to be ashamed of." That was rich, coming from a man who took years and years to be convinced of that exact statement. "There's… stuff I don't wanna talk about with Pepper. And I'm pretty sure that there's stuff you don't wanna talk about with May, or me. That's when it's good to have someone else. Especially when we're lost and scared."

Peter was quiet for a long time. Processing. "Mr. Stark?" The boy emitted a tiny sound the man belatedly recognized as a sob. "Sam… Today he said that people… They're not really gone, as long as someone remembers them. I'm… I'm not really scared of that." (Of course he was, but soldiered with the terror amazingly.) "I've always sort of known that I won't… stay for long. But… I'm worried that May will remember too much. I mean…" By then the boy was crying, and fought audibly to remain brave. "I don't… I don't wanna make her to cry, when she remembers me. Like she does when she remembers Ben."

Tony's eyes welled up and it took all he had to keep himself together. "Oh, kid…" He lay down and held the child as close as he dared to. "It's… It's not always bad to cry when you remember. It means that you've really loved someone." He ruffled that boy's hair and didn't want to think about a time when he wouldn't be able to. "And, for the record… I'll remember you, too." Always.

"You will?" Peter sounded exhausted, and surprised. "Even though I'm not anyone important or special? I'm just… I'm just some kid stuck in a hospital." There was no bitterness whatsoever in those words, and somehow it made them all the more heartbreaking.

Tony lost his ability to speak for a while. A tear or two rolled. "Pete, you're way more special than you'll ever know." And he was going to arrange something really, really awesome to prove it.

/

The following day, after a long and sleepless night, Tony called May. "Hey." He gulped, feeling a familiar spark of stubborn determination. "Peter's Birthday's in a few weeks, right?" And it looked like they'd have to celebrate it a little early, just in case. "I… think I know the perfect present for him." There was only one thing Peter had ever wished for…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear... And just when we all imagined that things couldn't get more bleak... (whimpers) Those poor dears, especially Pete! (As for that 'I don't wanna go'? I'm sorry!)  
> Now what in the world is Tony planning? I wonder if you guys already guess.  
> Comments? Rants? PLEASE, do let me know! I LOVE hearing from you, even if I'm a bit scared to find out how mad you are at me right now. (grins sheepishly)  
> Until next time! I really hope that you'll all join in for that one.  
> Take care!


	9. We Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it becomes obvious that time is running out, Tony and May decide to make Peter's one and only wish come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for another feels-ride, guys! Are you all ready? Excited? Terrified...?  
> THANK YOU, a million times, for all those comments, listings and love! I seriously can't believe how popular this tale of mine has become. (HUUUUGS)  
> Awkay, folks... Brace yourselves. Grab a tissue or two if you've needed them by now. And then, on three... One... Two...

"… understand what …?"

"Yes, yes, I get it! The next time… The next time Peter's heart stops… The next time he… he stops breathing… no one's gonna do a goddamned thing." May wheezed, on the verge of losing it entirely, then pulled herself together forcibly. "Sorry…"

Bruce shook his head, eyes full of understanding and melancholy. "No need to apologize. If I was the one signing that paper… I'd have a tough time, too."

Tony had been sitting beside May, eerily quiet and still as a statue. Unable to look away from the DNR consent form although he wanted to. When a pen began to approach the paper he finally snapped. Desperate, clinging to even the faintest trace of something like hope. "Wait, wait!" He licked his lips, frantic eyes rising to meet Bruce's. "What about a heart transplant? I mean…" There had to be a way… Some way… Any way…

Bruce sighed, shoulders slumping. "Finding a heart for a child… It's a tricky thing. It needs to be just the right size, and a lot of other things also need to match. But, in this case…" The doctor glanced towards May and went on after a nod of approval. "Years ago, before, during and after Peter's surgery, his primary doctor Ross… made some mistakes. Those led to kidney problems. And… Peter's immune system has never been the same, either. Which means that he's not a candidate." Bruce's eyes were full of grief. "I double-checked."

The rage and frustration Tony felt, right there… Realizing that if it wasn't for some failure of a doctor Peter might still have a chance… It threatened to suffocate him. Made his heart hammer in a manner which suggested that the organ was bursting.

He was so overwhelmed that he didn't notice May signing the paper until she rushed out of the room. Tony operated on instinct. Despite knowing full well how bad he was at offering emotional support. He bounced up and dashed to motion, hoping dearly that he wouldn't make things worse.

By the time he found May she was throwing up to the floor. He winced, then began to rub clumsy, hilariously awkward soothing circles to her back. "You okay?" he asked uncharacteristically cautiously when she was done.

May spat, tear-filled eyes on the floor. "I… I just signed a 'let him die' form for an eight-year-old. So, no. I'm… I'm not okay."

Tony nodded, not noticing the moisture welling up to his own eyes. "I… I get it. So… Freak out, for a bit. I know I'm freaking out. And… When we've done enough of that… We'll go to Pete, and tell him the awesome news. We'll tell him what his early Birthday present is, and we'll be happy with him. Because… Because they're good news." If only reality was as simple as that…

May nodded very slowly. Roughly two minutes later she managed to lift her head enough to look at him. Her eyes were softer than before. "Tony? You'd make a great dad."

The shock-value of the unexpected statement was enough to paralyze Tony for a long while, before he had to start running to catch up with her. It was the first time he ever even considered himself as a parent. The first time he seriously entertained even the thought of becoming one. Trust him to do it at the worst possible time…

/

Peter was, predictably, surprised and very excited. "What do you mean, an early Birthday present? What is it?"

May wrapped one arm around the boy and pulled him close. Mainly to give herself a few moments to regain her composure. "You've been here, in this room, for a really long time. What do you say…" She cleared her throat. "What do you say if you'd get to go home?"

Peter stared, the child's eyes widening. "Home?" he wheezed, excitement striking him nearly speechless. "It'd… It'd be the best thing, ever!"

Tony found himself smiling. Even if his heart was breaking to pieces. "Exactly, buddy. Dr. Banner will stay with you guys and a medical team visits whenever they're needed. And… A lot of cool stuff will be brought to your room." It was people and equipment the kid needed to be able to fight for as long as he could. It took almost two weeks and quite a bit of effort to enable it, but making Peter's only wish come true was definitely worth it. "It's gonna look like the set of a sci-fi movie."

By then Peter was really, properly speechless. Before the grown-ups could start panicking, however, the boy grabbed them both to a tight, loving hug. Tears of joy and amazement shone in the child's eyes.

"Pete?" Tony asked eventually, worried that this was all too much.

"I'm… I'm okay", the boy murmured. "I'm just… I'm so happy that I don't have big enough words."

Tony tightened his hold on the child and buried his face into the small shoulder. Wishing, from the bottom of the battered heart breaking in his chest, that he would've had big enough words. "It's gonna take a couple of more days to get everything done, but… I'm getting the feeling that you wanna go for it."

Peter nodded fervently and looked towards May. Disbelief and desperate hope shone in those moist eyes. "Can I? For real?" Like there was a human being on the whole planet who could've said 'no' to that look…

May kissed the top of boy's head. One tear rolled down her cheek. "Yeah, larb. If… If you wanna go home… Then let's do it", she promised hoarsely.

Peter squeezed her hand in an obvious attempt to comfort her. "I do. I wanna sleep in my own bed, make sure my toys are okay… And I've gotta finish that Norse mythology -book! I wanna read what happened to Thor and Loki."

"Okay." May hugged the child so tightly that it seemed to come close to squashing the child. "Then let's get everything ready for the big adventure."

/

That Thursday morning Tony approached Peter's room and felt horrible chills go through him when he saw May sitting outside. She, however, chased away his worries with a sad and tired smile. "They needed some guy-time", she whispered.

Curious, Tony peered in. A smile found its way to his lips as well, even though the sight hurt. Peter and Ned were on the room's floor, expressions of intense concentration on their faces. Both were intently focused on putting together a Lego Death Star. It should've been too challenging for a pair so young, but the boys only seemed to thrive in the face of the challenge. On occasion they grunted words only the other child could understand or hissed from frustration. Peter was clearly growing exhausted but refused to give in.

About half an hour later the work was completed. Both boys whooped from delight. "We did it!" Peter exclaimed, louder and far more spirited than his fatigue should've allowed.

Ned seemed confused by the disbelief. "Well, of course we did! Because we're Jedi Knights."

Peter's smile faltered, just a little bit. "Yeah." The boy swallowed, eyes on the Lego work. "You'll… You'll take a good care of it, right? You'll make sure that it doesn't break, get stolen or… or anything stupid like that."

"Of course!" Ned swore instantly. Then worried his lower lip. "Are you… sure that you don't want it? I mean… Now that you're going home."

Peter shuddered and nearly broke down. (It was pure luck that Ned was too young to notice.) "You keep it. You did most of the work, anyway."

Ned shrugged. "It's not your fault that you got tired." The boy grinned almost as radiantly as Peter. "It looks even more awesome than in the picture! How cool is that?"

Peter grinned back. Pain and sorrow forgotten for just a little while. "Really cool. To Jedi Knights!"

"To Jedi Knights!" Ned echoed enthusiastically.

The boys shared a bizarre handshake. What little was still intact of Tony's heart shattered when he realized what he was witnessing. This was the last time those two would ever see each other.

/

Later that evening it was time to leave the hospital behind. While May was filling the necessary paperwork Peter announced, firmly but politely, that there was somewhere he had to stop by before they'd go. Tony was more than happy to operate as a chauffeur. The destination, as it turned out, was another hospital room. Occupied by a familiar patient.

MJ was in isolation because her latest treatment session took down her immune system. Which meant that the children couldn't be in the same space. But the second she saw her friend on the other side of a window she used what little strength she had and crawled out of the bed. She frowned at the sight of him in normal clothes. (Was it the first time she saw him wear such?) "Are you… leaving?"

Peter shivered a little at her words and nodded. "Yeah. I'm, ah… going home."

MJ nodded back. The forced bravery in her eyes was achingly familiar. "Cool. When are you coming back? 'Cause… The annoying one that sent me here was my last treatment, but… I'm stuck here for a while longer, 'til my immune system works properly. And… It'd be so boring without you."

Those words slashed Tony deep, and he could only imagine how they made Peter feel. The boy swallowed thickly and his eyes shimmered with moisture for a few seconds. "Dunno", was the most the child managed to produce. How was he supposed to tell MJ that…? Peter looked down, then boldly back at her. "Just… Just keep fighting, yeah? 'Til your hair's long and you can dye it pink for real. And have enough jello for us both. Especially the red one."

MJ nodded again and bit her lower lip so hard that it had to hurt. Right there, in that moment… Tony saw her looking her age for the very first time.

Both kids seemed to be on the verge of tears. Peter placed his hand on the window separating them. "Don't… Don't look scared. We… We don't do scared, remember?"

MJ scoffed. It sounded suspiciously watery. "I'm not scared", she argued. "I'm sad."

Peter swallowed and looked down. A tear, just one, slid down the boy's cheek. "I'm sad, too", he admitted, so quietly that the girl probably didn't hear.

"Besides…" MJ went on, trying to sound and seem like she hadn't admitted to any weakness. "We don't have to be scared. 'Cause… I know how this'll end. You'll come back, so will my mom. We'll leave this stupid place together. And then, when we get better, and old… We'll get married."

Peter blinked twice at that. Choked on his breath for a moment. "Married?" he squeaked.

MJ rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah. We like each other, a lot. Of course we'll get married."

"Okay", Peter agreed. It was the kind of acceptance only a child is capable of experiencing. The boy bit the inside of his cheek. "It… It might be fun. I mean… To be married with you. Even though you're mean sometimes."

MJ rolled her eyes a second time. Then pressed her hand against the boy's, like there was nothing keeping them apart. "Bye, loser", she murmured hoarsely. "See you later."

Peter's eyes nearly overflowed while the kids stared at each other intently. Memorizing. "See you later, bully."

There was no way Peter could've walked all the way to his room. And the boy looked so upset that the wheelchair used on the way there wasn't an option. So Tony scooped up the child and carried him. There was a courageous grin on Peter's face while he waved MJ goodbye. It faded as soon as they were in an elevator. Once there, the boy buried his face to the billionaire's shoulder and burst into loud, wrenching sobs. Holding Peter tightly, Tony found that the most painful part of the unfair tragedy was that even all his fortune couldn't buy the child's pain away.

By the time they made it to Peter's hallway Tony didn't know how he'd be able to let go. At some point of the brief journey the child had cried himself to sleep. Pepper and May, who were waiting for them, grimaced at the sight. "It went that well, huh?" May asked.

Tony grimaced back and sighed heavily. "Yeah." Eager to direct the discussion elsewhere so he could avoid remembering the kids' meeting, he cleared his throat. "All set?"

One corner of May's lips twitched upwards while she shook her head. Her eyes weren't entirely dry when she looked at Peter. "Pete, larb? Think you can wake up for a minute?"

Peter's eyes opened halfway, with a frown. "May? 's wrong?"

She shook her head a second time. "Nothing's wrong, honey. Just… Everyone working here… They wanted to say 'bye'."

As confused as the boy, Tony looked around and felt his eyes widen. It looked like most of the ward's staff had gathered around them at some point. Almost every single person present seemed a little too emotional for it to be strictly professional. One of them, a nurse the billionaire had seen most often, approached them with tear-filled eyes. Sharon, Tony noticed from her nametag for the first time. "What's this, Pete? Did you really think that we wouldn't see our favorite superhero off?"

Peter smiled radiantly, even if moisture pooled into his eyes. The boy seemed overwhelmed by the crowd. "You… You guys didn't have to…", he sputtered.

Bruce's smile was a sad one. "But everyone wanted to. So… Why not?"

"Can you do us a favor?" Sharon wiped her eyes so swiftly and subtly that it would've been easy to miss. "One more big group picture for the album?"

Peter nodded eagerly, his eyes shining from delight, sadness and shock. With that permission Sharon found a place for the camera and everyone gathered for the snapshot. Tony fought with all his might past the tears to smile.

Leaving the ward… It felt painfully lot like an end. Like giving up. Despite Pepper's comforting hand on his shoulder Tony was barely keeping it together. Then they were outside and a swarm of reporters crowded them.

"Is he the mystery kid?"

"Are you taking him home?"

"Is he related to you?"

"Is he your lovechild?"

"Kid, what's your name?"

Peter was clearly and understandably startled by the unwanted attention. Panicking, the child grabbed him frantically. "Tony..!" the boy whimpered. (Which marked the one and only time he ever called the billionaire by his first name. Sadly, the man didn't notice and appreciate it until much, much later. Too late.)

"Shh…", Tony soothed and hugged the child closer. He felt a smothering urge to shield the boy from the whole damned world. "They're just nosy, is all. It's okay." Of course it wasn't.

Peter couldn't utter a thing. The boy's face was pressed against the man's chest, hidden from the cameras. That didn't stop a flash after a flash coming. (Those pictures, which were quick to find their way onto the pages of far too many tabloids, made Peter famous for a few days. Before the child was forgotten by the major public, like the passing of a shooting star.)

/ 

Entering Peter's home and room was like stepping into a space that'd frozen in time. It was blatantly obvious that the child didn't get to spend a lot of time there, and hadn't stopped by in far too long. But now everything was fully ready for him. And the whole place… It was like Peter's very own heaven. All those toys and books just waiting to be enjoyed… It brought a lump to Tony's throat.

All of a sudden Peter began to stir in the billionaire's arms. The child shivered, clearly confused as to where he was and still frightened by meeting the reporters. Tony was beyond relieved that May stepped in, because he wasn't able to even twitch, let alone utter a word.

May's gentle hand brushed Peter's hair. "Guess what?" she whispered, love and pain coloring her tone. "We're here."

The blindingly bright smile that appeared to Peter's exhausted face made it all every bit worth the emotional agony. Tony chose to blatantly ignore just how much it was going to hurt when… "Welcome home, kid", he somehow managed.

Peter's smile widened still while the child tightened his tender hold on Jarvis-the-robot. And it was almost enough to outshine the fact that the child was home for one grim reason alone. The End had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... Yeah. That was... somewhat emotional. A tiny bit. Poor... everyone! But at least Peter is finally where he wants to be. Maybe we can all find some solace from that...? (dodges thrown objects)  
> Thoughts? Comments? Rants? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my day. Just, ya know, thought I should mention...  
> Are you all ready for what comes in the next chapter? I'm not sure I am... But still, I really hope that I'll see you all at the next chapter!  
> Take care!


	10. We Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets to have a magical day. Not much later he falls asleep to his last lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, folks. At what's definitely the emotional peak of this story. There's no sugarcoating what's to come. Check the chapter's ominous title. This IS what we've all been dreading. (gulps) First, though...  
> THANK YOU, so, so, so much, for all your comments, kudoses and love! They make me happier than you know. (HUGS)  
> Okay... If you've needed tissues thus far, I SERIOUSLY recommend grabbing some now. Take a deep breath. Hang in there. And now... Let's go say goodbye. (whimpers)

It was raining incredibly heavily on that afternoon of late May. New York looked grey and miserable, as though the whole city had gone into a state of mourning. A tiny, white church stood as a stark, welcomed contrast to all the bleakness. With the way a small cemetery had been situated behind the church the building and the greenery surrounding it hid the more desolate parts of the view.

Peter was the one who chose the place, without actually intending to. The child saw the building about a week earlier. He stared at it intently for a minute, perhaps even two, a thoughtful look on his face.

/

/ "Penny for them", Tony prompted at last.

Peter bit the inside of his cheek. Whatever thought just occurred, the boy clearly found it embarrassing. "Just… That place looks too beautiful for funerals."

A sad, horrible realization struck Tony. Peter had never been to a church for anything but funerals, had he? In all his life the child had never gotten the chance to witness a… "But it's definitely beautiful enough for a wedding." For once in his life he thought, long and hard, before continuing. "How would you feel about seeing one?"

Peter's exhausted eyes widened. "You mean… A wedding? For… For real? I'd really wanna go to one! But…" The boy frowned, genuinely confused. "I've… never been to a wedding before. What… would I do there?"

Peter's confirmation to Tony's guess affirmed the billionaire's decision. Now was probably the best time, since another rich guy's scandal had stolen media's attention. And now… Now they still had time. He could only hope that Pepper wouldn't kill him for this… "We've gotta run this past May first, of course. And Bruce, too. But… If they think it's okay… You could be my best man. Sit there beside me, looking all cool, and look after the rings until the time's right. How does that sound?"

No matter how bright the sunlight was outside, Peter's smile outshone it. "Mr. Stark… That'd be awesome!"

(Pepper quite possibly agreed. Because instead of killing him or scolding him she kissed him soundly. Then scoffed. "About time you make an honest woman out of me.") /

/

So, once again Tony put his money to what he considered a good cause. He used his contacts and pulled a couple of strings. And in less than a week a wedding had been put together.

Pepper had never looked more beautiful than she did in her white dress. Two thin black lines decorated the outfit's front. The subtle sign of understanding and sympathy made, if possible, Tony fall even more in love with her. And Peter had never smiled brighter than the child did while waiting for her by Tony's side. His beaming face was almost enough to distract one from noticing how pale he was. And that he had to use a wheelchair and oxygen whiskers. The boy's chest was puffed up from pride while he sat in his chair, wearing a brand-new tuxedo.

When Pepper was about fifteen steps away Tony peered over his shoulder towards the kid. "Do I look nervous?" he whispered. "Because I'm so nervous that I wanna puke."

Peter giggled loudly, then slapped a hand to his lips to keep the sound from repeating. "Nah", the child replied after catching his breath. "You look happy."

So do you, Tony felt like pointing out. But he didn't want to risk breaking the moment's magic. "I am happy, Pete", he announced quietly instead. "Happier than ever in my life." Because in that moment there was no death, heartache, sadness and pain. Only love and joy existed in the shelter of the tiny building.

"So, whadda you say?" The adoration in Pepper's eyes threatened to take Tony's breath away. (Maybe he'd succeeded in doing something right in his life, to deserve someone loving him so. He immediately filed that thought away as unbearably corny.) "Are you ready to go through with this?"

Tony gave her his sweetest, most disarming smile. The honest one only a handful of people had ever seen. "For the rest of my life. Wasn't that supposed to be the deal?"

Pepper laughed. But the hand grabbing his squeezed tenderly. "That was so cheesy, Tones."

He wanted to kiss her right there and then, so badly that it wasn't even funny.

Their minister, Nick Fury, arched a very clearly speaking eyebrow at having to wait. But a careful spectator caught the tiny, barely visible hint of softness in his one remaining eye. "So. Is someone getting married today or not?"

Tony and Pepper smirked identically, and so it began. Thunder clapped outside, very loudly, when they were eventually given the permission to exchange their first kiss as a husband and wife. Encouraged by nature's obvious permission, Tony dipped her Hollywood-style to make the kiss even deeper. Peter whooped. Bruce and May, their only other witnesses, started laughing.

Later, while they swayed to their first dance as a husband and wife with their stomachs full of Shawarma, Tony leaned to Pepper's ear. "You have no idea how happy I am that you agreed to do this."

Pepper gave his cheek a chaste kiss. "What? Marry you? You'd better be grateful." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Honestly? Nothing about today was how I imagined my wedding when I was a little girl. The weather… That building… The priest… The food… You… This was better."

Tony smirked. "Mrs. Stark… Now who's being cheesy?"

Pepper silenced further teasing with a deep kiss. On the couch beside them Peter, May and Bruce slept soundly. The aunt and nephew tangled together, the doctor snoring softly with his arms folded to his chest. Whatever anyone else might say, for the two of them it was the perfect wedding day.

/

After the wedding Peter slept for several hours. Bruce assured the rest of the worried adults that the boy was as okay as he could be, just got excited. Evening had already fallen by the time the child woke up. His eyes widened quickly when he realized that the room was full of balloons. "Is this… a good dream?"

Tony emitted a watery chuckle, his hand tightening around Pepper's. May, who'd been sitting on the edge of Peter's bed, gave the boy's forehead a kiss. "No, silly", she murmured huskily, barely in control over her emotions. A gentle hand brushed a strand of hair from the child's eyes. "Happy Birthday."

Peter's forehead wrinkled sleepily. "But… 's not…" The boy then caught on and grinned conspiratorially. "Oh, yeah… When we choose it to be. Right?"

May poked the boy's nose tenderly with one finger. "Smart kid", she praised. Then inhaled a steadying breath. "Guess what? You woke up just in time for some cake. Wanna go and get a slice before Dr. Banner eats it all up?"

Tony was absolutely sure that he'd never, ever forget the sound of Peter's giggle bubbling and filling the whole room.

All of a sudden the delight dimmed. Peter's eyes were worried and guilty when they turned to Tony. "It's… It's your wedding day, Mr. Stark. And… Aren't those supposed to be… I don't know, special? I get it, if…"

Tony ruffled the boy's hair. He didn't think his heart would've been able to stand hearing another word. "I'm spending it with my number one fan, kid. What could be more special than that?"

"Listen to this guy", Pepper added. "He's a genius. On occasion. And sometimes he's right."

Peter chewed the inside of his cheek. Considered. "Honest?"

Tony nodded resolutely. Because he could tell that this was important. "I swear on Friday-the-robot."

Peter nodded back every bit as seriously, joy sparkling in his eyes once more as the worries were wiped away.

Satisfied with the matter being solved, Tony picked up the child and held him close. (He really, seriously needed to hold the boy just then.) "And now, kid… it's time for lots of cake!"

Peter squealed from delight and raised his fist to the air.

The kitchen was just as full of balloons and balloon animals as the boy's room. Somewhere in the middle of the chaos stood a table. Along with not just one, but two cakes. Peter's eyes widened. "Woah!"

Pepper chuckled and ruffled the boy's hair much like Tony did. "Looks pretty cool, right?" She winked. "Two parties. Two good excuses to have cake."

Peter's grin revealed that the child agreed. And cake they had. The kid couldn't stomach much but savored every bite he had and sighed with contentment when he was done.

"So… Since it's a special day… How about adding one more surprise?" Tony rubbed his hands together and smirked at the boy's adorable confusion. "Put on a coat, then close your eyes."

/

Peter obeyed, even if it was super difficult. He kept his eyes closed stubbornly, no matter how badly he would've wanted to peek. The whole time he held on to Tony tightly, still wondering if this was all some sort of an amazing dream from which he'd wake up soon.

"Kid?" Tony nudged him gently. "You can open your eyes, now."

Peter did, without hesitating for a single second. His eyes widened fairly quickly when fireworks began to erupt loudly. They painted the dark sky with a breathtaking amount of colors. Blue… Red… Gold… And so many more that he couldn't quite keep track. It was definitely the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his whole life. (Even prettier than Liz, or MJ, but he didn't want to think about them just then. He didn't want to start feeling sad.)

Peter was so consumed and awed by the sight that he didn't hear Bruce whispering to Pepper. Or her fond response. "Is… this even legal?"

"Let's say that Tony knows all the right people…"

How was Peter supposed to hear them when the beautiful view above caught all his attention? His eyes felt funny and his heart was thudding. But he knew that now it wasn't the scary kind of hiccupping. He figured that his heart was just so full of happiness that it didn't know how to handle it.

Peter didn't want this day to ever end. Because it was definitely the most magical day ever. Along with the one when he met his biggest hero for the first time, of course.

/

Worry clawed at Tony's chest when he noticed how emotional the child was getting. What if this was too much…? "Pete? You okay?"

Peter nodded immediately and wiped his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. These are, ah… Happy tears." True to his words, the boy smiled yet again. Moist eyes lingered on the sky before meeting him and May. "This is the best Birthday ever. Even if it's a fake one. So… Thank you."

May gave the boy's cheek a kiss that made the child squirm and laugh. Tony wrapped both arms around Peter, like that would've been enough to make sure that there'd be many more Birthdays to come. "You know what, kid? Thank you, for celebrating with Pepper and me." He didn't think he'd ever have the words to express just how glad he was to have had this amazing, special child in his life. No matter how briefly.

The other four didn't notice how behind them Bruce had pulled out a camera and taken countless of snapshots. The doctor managed to capture the exact moment when Peter leaned his head against Tony's. It was the last picture ever taken of the kid.

/

The message came at three thirty-eight on a Thursday morning, just two days after the wedding and roughly a week before Peter's real Birthday. Of course it had to be a Thursday. May's few words were more than enough to tear apart another piece of Tony's already battered heart. 'It's time.'

The whole way to the Parkers' home Tony squeezed Pepper's hand so tightly that later he wondered how she could stand it without a complaint. Seeing May's tear-stained, inconsolable face almost took down whatever little composure he still had. When Pepper greeted the aunt with a tight hug neither woman had dry eyes. During their embrace May clung to him like someone who was drowning. "Bruce… just gave him something for… for the pain. And to calm him down. He's…" Her voice faded away for a moment or two. "Tony, he's so scared…!"

Tony nodded faintly. So am I, he mused miserably. None of this felt real. (How could something this horrible be real?) He opened his mouth but it turned out there was nothing left of his voice.

Thankfully Bruce's heavy steps and heavier sigh spared him from the humiliation of having to try talking. The doctor's eyes were suspiciously red. "He's calmer, now. Really tired from all the medication, though. He's asking for you two."

Tony had no idea if he'd be able to actually do this. His pained, desperate eyes turned towards Pepper. She didn't even try to smile back. "I'll be right here", she swore, quietly but with a comforting amount of conviction. "I'm not going anywhere."

Tony held on to that promise with all he had. Then, after several shuddering breaths, braced himself for the hardest thing he'd ever done in his entire life. He followed May to Peter's room. Neither said a word, nor did they look at each other, because it would've made them lose what little control they had over themselves.

Peter's eyes had been closed but they blinked open stubbornly at the sound of them entering. No matter how afraid the child was, seeing him brought a smile. "… had a dream of you …"

Tony used all his willpower to muster a thin smile of his own. "Oh? I hope it was a good one."

Peter smiled the best as the boy could. "… gave me an awesome suit …" The child was slurring so badly from exhaustion and medication that the words were barely comprehensible. "… could climb … like a spider …"

Tony grinned. Resolutely forgetting everything about the bleak present for a moment. "That does sound like a cool dream." He showed the child the device he'd been carrying. "Guess what else is cool? This."

It was easy to see that Peter barely managed to stay awake. Talking was clearly far too much on the rapidly fading little boy. The child observed eagerly how he plugged in the mystery object. Then he and May lay down on Peter's bed that got crowded, occupying both sides of the child. The boy snuggled happily between them, savoring the comfort of their presence.

Tony had to clear his throat before he dared to test his voice. "I know how much you love stars. And, since you can't really see them around here… I figured we need another way." He switched off the bedside lamp, then switched on the device. And all of a sudden the whole room was full of stars. So close that it would've been tempting to try touching them.

Peter gasped from disbelief and delight as the stars danced slowly, several constellations showing clearly. Tony had to admit that he was also impressed. It looked even more beautiful than he'd imagined.

He caught May's hand moving moments before the voice of Peter's mom filled the room. Singing the child his last lullaby. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are… Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky…"

Tears filled Peter's eyes. The boy's hand squeezed Tony's incredibly tightly. The billionaire tightened his own hold, hoping that it was reassuring. "Don't be scared, kid", he whispered hoarsely. "You're alright." It was a lie, and it painfully clearly wasn't. The child had already been fighting too long and prolonging it would've been cruelty. It was alright to go, now. (Of course it wasn't.)

The song continued, softly and tenderly. "When the blazing sun is gone…" The singer's voice broke for a second. "Then you show your little light…"

Peter swallowed thickly and leaned his tired head against May's shoulder. "What if… What if I get lost?" The boy's voice was barely audible but the fear was loud and clear. "The stars… They're so far away…"

May kissed the child's forehead, a tear rolling down her cheek. "No, they're not, honey", she murmured, her voice cracking. "And you won't get lost, I promise. Your parents… And Ben… They'll light the way. And they…" She could barely talk but soldiered on anyway. "They'll be so, so happy to see you, Pete." She kissed him again, while she still could, pain etched all over her face. "Give… Give Ben a big hug for me when you get to him, yeah?"

Peter was crying, too. He clung to both adults accompanying him with the sheer force of despair. "'don't wanna leave you alone, May", the boy whimpered.

Tony did his best to focus on the song. Because listening to the conversation was proving to be more than his heart could bear. Especially with how Peter's breathing pattern was changing ominously. "Then the traveler in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark, How could he see where to go, if you did not twinkle so?"

May broke down entirely, just for a couple of seconds. She shook her head and held Peter tighter. "Oh, Pete… You silly child… I'll never, ever be alone. I promise. And if… if I ever feel alone… Or sad…" She swallowed thickly. "Then I'll look up… and remember that you and those other precious stars are up there. Twinkling down on me."

"… even if you can't see us …", Peter murmured, his eyelids drooping heavily.

"Exactly." May stroked the boy's hair lovingly. "I love you so much, Pete", she choked out. "Sweet dreams, larb."

Peter kissed her cheek. It seemed to take almost all the strength he still had. "'love you, too", he whispered.

"In the dark blue sky you keep, and through my curtains often peep, For you never shut your eyes, Till the morning sun does rise…"

Tony was so intently focused on keeping it together that he shivered when Peter's fingers twitched around his. "Mr. Stark?" With every little bit of fighting spirit the boy had left he snuggled closer. "… 'love you … Thank you, for bringing the stars here…"

Tony swallowed thickly. He was too overwhelmed to notice the moisture all over his cheeks. "I love you, too, Pete. Don't you ever forget it, no matter how far you go." He didn't think he'd ever said anything so honest in his whole life. Pain clawed all of him when he could actually feel the child drifting away. He clenched his jaw. Then did the most selfless thing he'd ever done. "Now go to sleep, Space Traveler. And have an awesome adventure."

Peter smiled, no longer afraid. (Tony wanted to believe that he and May had succeeded in comforting the boy, that the serenity wasn't caused only by medication.) A pair of half-lidded eyes watched the stars dancing slowly on the ceiling. Then closed.

While the song's final, nearly whispered words faded away, so did Peter's heart. "As your bright and tiny spark, lights the traveler in the dark, Though I know not what you are, Twinkle on, please, little star, Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are…"

There, in the arms of two adults who loved him, Peter's long battle ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMER: 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' is, as far as I know, a copyright free song. And I think we all know that I didn't write it, LOL. Soooo… No suing/reporting, please? That was the most befitting and beautiful version of it I found.)
> 
> Oh, dang... That... was SAD! GOSH! Poor... everyone! Sweet dreams, baby. (sniffles)  
> I almost dread to ask, but... Thoughts? Comments? Rants? Feel free to let me hear it. I can take it. I think...  
> I'm not gonna ask if everyone's okay. (I don't think any of us is.) BUT... I really hope that you'll all be there for the next punch at the FEELS.  
> Take care, of yourselves and all the Petes out there!


	11. I Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Peter's death those he left behind do their best to cope. In the middle of great grief fate isn't quite done with delivering surprises...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO... Last chapter was ROUGH, wasn't it? (winces) We'll see just how the story continues from there... (gulps)  
> MY GOSH...! THANK YOU, so much, for the insane amount of comments, kudoses and love this story has received! I seriously can't believe how popular this has become! Must be the Peter-magic. (smiles fondly)  
> Okay, folks... Are you ready for some more? I hope so. Because... Here we go...!  
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. If you EVER feel like one of the characters in this chapter does, REACH OUT for help! YOU'RE WORTH IT.

It took another hour before Tony managed to stumble out of Peter's room. In the living room Bruce, who was wiping his eyes, and Pepper, who was trying to stop crying, turned to look towards him. He didn't need to say a word for them to know exactly what just happened.

It was over.

Fresh tears filling her own eyes, Pepper made her way to him and pulled him to a tight, love-filled embrace. Her touch was what made Tony lose it entirely. Gasping when the sobs threatened to suffocate him, he wept from the bottom of his broken heart. All of him longing the kid who just found his way to the stars.

/

Later Tony remembered only brief flashes of Peter's funeral-day. Mostly stupid, meaningless details. Like that the day was infuriatingly sunny. Like the sickeningly small coffin. And very vaguely he remembered wanting to scream, throw up and cry the whole time. He wanted to do all of those things so much that in the end he couldn't manage any of them. (More than anything, though, he wanted Peter back.) There were, however, three moments he remembered far too clearly for the rest of his life.

The first such moment was entering the church. He shuddered and froze when he realized that the building was almost full. May was there, of course, Bruce sitting beside her with a comforting arm wrapped around her shoulders. Ned had also arrived. The usually smiling boy was crying silent, inconsolable tears while his mom held his hand comfortingly. MJ, who sat beside nurse Sharon, was a stark contrast. Her pale face was a mask of stone and the pink wig she wore seemed to scream a war at the whole world. Only her red and puffy eyes revealed how badly she'd struggled before coming. Looking around, Tony realized that practically all of the children's ward's staff was there, many with tears in their eyes. A lot of kids and their parents had also showed up, without a doubt people Peter had met and charmed. The billionaire was baffled and moved by how many souls the child touched during his brief life. Then Tony made the mistake of looking towards the casket. And if it wasn't for Pepper's hand squeezing his he might've collapsed or run away from the onslaught of sheer agony.

Because in that moment it really, truly struck him that it was time to say goodbye.

The second clear memory was of May attempting to deliver a eulogy. She stood there, in front of everyone, all alone and visibly lost. She couldn't look away from the coffin although it clearly tore her heart to pieces. She licked her lips, then opened her mouth thrice before any speech came. "Peter… He is… was…" That was how far she got before crumbling entirely. Only sheer willpower kept her from falling to the floor.

Tony had no idea what he was going to say or do. But he had to do something. So he got up stiffly, then rushed to the front and wrapped an arm around the grieving aunt. His tear-filled eyes found the casket as though obeying some horrible magnet. "We… We miss you, kid. We always will", he managed, hoarse and shaky. "And… We hope that you made it to the stars safely." He swallowed when the lump in his throat threatened to get too big. "Bye, Space Traveler. We'll… We'll see you when our journey is over."

May's hand squeezed his so tightly that if the gesture wasn't full of affection and gratitude it would've hurt.

The third memory was from the cemetery. Watching the coffin and what little was left of Peter being laid down… Watching the dirt begin to fall… It was too much.

Obviously someone agreed. "Stop it!" MJ had remained stubbornly silent until then. Seemingly emotionless. Now raw, horrible pain and moisture filled her blazing eyes. She struggled to run forward and Sharon's hold was barely enough to keep her still. "Stop! Pete, he… He hates the dark, and closed spaces! Let him out! STOP!" By then she was trembling so badly that she practically slumped to the nurse's arms. Tears began to fall freely, and when she screamed again it was more of a whimper. "Stop! He… He's gonna come back, you'll see…! We… We were supposed to…! So st…! Stop…!"

His own tears blinded Tony. By the time he could see again the feebly struggling girl was in Sharon's firm embrace. The nurse blinked away the moisture in her eyes and held the child tighter, then whispered barely loudly enough for the billionaire to hear. "Shh… Don't look, honey. If it's too much… Don't look. That… That box… It's not the important part of Peter in it, remember? The important part… It's up there, watching over us. He's there, though we can't see him anymore."

MJ couldn't utter a word. The child cried miserably, possibly breaking down to tears for the first time in her life. The girl and Tony wished, desperately, that Sharon was right.

/

A few days later Tony decided that he'd have to do something with himself or he'd lose his mind. Memories of Peter… They followed him everywhere. The weight of Friday-the-robot in his pocket, right above his heart, helped as much as it made things worse. Same could be said about his daily visits to May, who was coping even worse than he was.

In the middle of that dark time he remembered a flyer he saw what felt like a lifetime ago. About a support-group for parents who had lost a child. He'd never, ever believed in the healing power of group-therapy. And May needed two days of coaxing before she consented. But perhaps it was what they both needed.

Eight pairs of eyes were locked on them when they walked in. The curious attention was almost more than Tony could handle but May's hand squeezing his convulsively stopped his plan to run away from the anxiety and pain. "Sorry." May cleared her throat. "We, ah… didn't mean to interrupt…"

The kind smile on the face of the woman leading the session eased their nervousness marginally. "Don't worry, you didn't. Actually, you're right on time. We were just getting started and we like to begin with the stories of our new attendants. I'm Ramonda." With nothing but acceptance and warmth on their faces the whole group introduced themselves, until Ramonda gestured towards the available seats. "Why don't you sit down and share with us what brought you here?"

May slumped to the nearest chair like she'd lost all the will from her muscles and swallowed thickly. Her eyes were already full of tears when they locked on the floor. "I'm May, and… It's, ah… It's been a rough year. Eleven months ago Ben, my husband… He died. And… And now Pete, my nephew… He passed away, and I…" She shook her head just as the first tear crawled down her cheek. "I don't… I don't have any idea how to handle it. I don't know…" She trailed off.

Ramonda nodded. Her eyes were full of sympathy but free of pity. "We'll try to figure that out. Together. You're not alone, May." Seeing a faint nod of acceptance, she shifted her attention to Tony. "What about you?"

Tony shuddered. "Ah, hey. I'm… Tony." He wondered how much the whole group already knew. How much had been learned and assumed from the tabloids. Until he stopped thinking entirely. "Pete, he… He wasn't my kid, not really. So… I probably shouldn't even be here. But… He was… special. And I… I guess that I still haven't really figured out that he's… gone. That I failed him." Somehow saying those words out loud made them a little too true. Made his eyes go blurry until he had to wipe them. "I miss him, every day, so much that it hurts."

"You didn't fail him." Ramonda smiled, just a little. "Sounds like you were lucky to get to meet him." (And he was, wasn't he?) "He was lucky to have you, too." Steps could be heard, and she seemed pleased. "You're a little late, but… Welcome. We just started the introductions. Why don't you have a seat and tell us why you're here?"

Still struggling to compose himself, Tony looked to see who'd arrived. His eyes widened a little while recognition dawned. One of the newcomers was a man he remembered seeing at the hospital briefly. Clint, wasn't he? The police officer looked very different without his uniform, more fragile and vulnerable. The second new attendant was Bruce.

Clint clearly hated even the thought of being there. The man gritted his teeth and glared at the floor before forcing out the first words. "I'm Clint." He swallowed thickly. "Lila, my daughter… She died in an accident. It was a hit and run." He breathed hard when the memories and emotions threatened to overwhelm him. "I was picking her up from school. Thought I'd surprise her with getting home early for once. She noticed me, and… She got so excited that she didn't watch the road." The officer had to close his eyes for a few seconds. Color escaped his face. "I… I saw the whole thing. The car hitting her… Her falling down… I… I just got out of my car when she fell. I was there, the whole time. Screaming, holding her, trying to save her… And… I was so goddamned useless." He wiped his eyes with an aggressive motion. "By the time she got to the hospital she was in a horrible condition. The following day… They said that there was no brain-activity. And, the day after that…" He trailed off but everyone listening figured out the rest far too easily. (Several members of the group had to wipe away tears.) It took a while before Clint managed to continue. "I… honestly thought that I was coping. Even had a shrink praising how well I was handling everything. Until I picked up some of her stuff from the hospital one day. I don't know what happened, but… It got too much. All of a sudden I'd locked myself up into a bathroom with a gun. If Cooper, my son, hadn't come knocking when he did, asking why there was a note on the door saying 'Don't open, call 911'…" The man took several ragged breaths. "I… have no idea how much good this'll do. But… I've gotta try. Before… Before I lose my wife and son, too. Or before I…" He didn't finish the sentence.

"You still have people who need you, Clint. Focus on them. That's what Lila would want you to do. And what happened to her… It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could've done to stop it, even if you were right there", Ramonda pointed out, gently but firmly. "It'll be the hardest thing you've ever done, but you'll learn to cope. Take the word of someone who has been where you are now." After seeing that her words had been heard she focused on Bruce. "What about you?"

"I'm Bruce. And…" The doctor's shoulders slumped. "I… I lost this amazing kid, before I ever got the chance to be his parent properly…"

The whole thing seemed to take ages. Afterwards Tony still wasn't sure if it was more helpful or painful. While May talked to some of the other attendants the billionaire noticed that someone was trying to slip away unnoticed. Feeling a hint of urgency, he rushed to follow Clint. "You going to get some fresh air?" he inquired, as though he hadn't seen a far darker alternative. "I could join you. I hate being here as much as you do."

Clint shrugged with an infuriatingly unreadable look on his face. A tense but not uncomfortable silence lingered while they headed outside. Minutes later they sat on the hood of the officer's ancient pickup truck, both simply breathing.

Clint was, surprisingly, the one who broke the silence. "I'm sorry you lost the kid."

Tony shrugged. He didn't look towards the other man because he knew that his eyes weren't dry. "And I'm sorry about your daughter. Life's a load of crap sometimes."

He sensed Clint's smirk of approval through almost spilling tears, even if he didn't see it. The silence which followed was more comfortable than the previous one. Eventually the officer found his voice again. "You don't have to keep an eye on me, you know? I didn't come here alone. My designed driver just… happens to be otherwise occupied."

Tony was about to ask until he saw it. Bruce emerged from the building. The doctor froze, comically wide-eyed, at the sight of a red-haired woman waiting for him. It was the same woman the billionaire recognized as the medical man's ex-wife. The two exchanged a few tense words until Bruce seemed to break down, physically and emotionally. The embrace which followed was as adorable as it was heartbreaking.

Tony scoffed. "'bout time…!"

Clint snorted. "You're telling me? I thought I'd have to resort to handcuffs."

Tony's eyebrow bounced up. "You set this up, didn't you? You knew that he'd be here." He was surprised to realize that for the first time since Peter's death he sounded amused. He even grinned. "I like your style."

Clint shrugged. "I have no idea what you're talking about." This time Tony saw the hint of a sly smirk on the officer's pale face.

(Neither man knew it yet, but they were friends ever since.)

/

A couple of weeks later Tony and Pepper decided that they needed a vacation. Officially they were finally heading to their honeymoon. In all actuality it was an attempt to boost the billionaire's recovery. Him nearly succumbing to a panic attack in the middle of a business-meeting was clear evidence that a break was needed.

So they left Maria Hill in charge over the company. And took a trip around the world. Because nothing less extravagant would've been Tony's style. (Because nothing else would've taken him far away enough from all the painful memories.)

For the first week and a half the dark shadow of depression followed Tony wherever he went. No matter how much happiness and comfort Pepper gave him. The worst part was that despite her best efforts to understand she just couldn't. She couldn't possibly fully comprehend the kind of a bond that formed between him and Peter in such a short time.

One late evening, while they drove through a countryside in France, Tony looked up. He blinked several times, his eyes growing blurry when he saw bright, astonishingly beautiful stars shining up above. Twinkling down on him. In that moment he came to a conclusion that was equal parts grim and comforting.

Peter was gone. A child was gone, while he – someone who according to all sense should've gotten himself killed a dozen times during his life – was left behind. It was cruel and unfair, but somehow it was nonetheless supposed to make sense. And now… Now it was his solemn duty to live and love enough for the both of them.

Pepper, who was driving at the time, poked his cheek gently. There was a line of worry on her forehead. "Someone's thinking too hard again."

Tony did his best to grin through the lump in his throat. He couldn't utter a word. So instead he leaned his head against her shoulder.

Something changed that night. So subtly that even Tony couldn't quite understand it. Maybe it was what people called moving on. It hurt, like healing often does.

A few days later Pepper found him from the edge of an ocean. The late evening was warm and already dark, the intoxicating scent of exotic flowers was heavy in the air. The stars Tony stared at, one glass of champagne in each hand, were surreally bright. (A tiny, silly part of him wondered which one of them belonged to Peter.)

He heard Pepper's soft steps on the sand seconds before she spoke. She nodded towards the glasses. "What's the special occasion?"

Tony shrugged. "I figured it's about time we celebrate our honeymoon properly." He felt a twinge of guilt over making her wait and watch him agonizing for this long. He held out a glass. Noticing Pepper's hesitation, he rushed to continue. "It's non-alcoholic, I promise." She'd seen him way too drunk way too many times, hauled him back up from the bottom over and over again. It was time to grow up and do better. He was determined to be worthy of the faith and adoration Peter gave him.

Pepper accepted the glass. Nervousness was still loud and clear in her eyes, which were avoiding his. "Good, because…" She swallowed thickly. "I, ah… sort of can't drink alcohol for a few months."

Tony's supposedly ingenious mind drew a total blank, there. He stared, barely managing to breathe. "You mean… You're…?" His gaze fell towards her stomach and he ogled at it in a way anyone else would've found insulting. There wasn't a swell, at least yet, but… Could it be…?

"Uh huh." Pepper gave him a few moments to digest the news that were slowly sinking in. "You'll be a dad." She sounded excited, scared, overjoyed and anxious all at once.

Tony's brain whirred a million miles per hour. Not too long ago, before he met a certain little boy… The idea of parenthood would've been something he couldn't even consider. He would've reacted horribly, possibly lost both Pepper and his unborn child. But now… Now he'd learned several important lessons, in the best and worst way. And so, although he was still terrified…

Unable to utter a single word, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. A thousand and one thoughts, ideas and possibilities rushing through his head. Until all his chaotic thoughts quieted.

Right there, on that magical beach, there was just the two of them, the ocean and the miracle growing inside Pepper.

"Are you crying, you big softy?" Pepper teased, suspiciously hoarse herself.

"Maybe." Tony shrugged. "It's the hormones."

Pepper could only laugh.

Tony held her even tighter. His battered heart filling with love and warmth all over again. He wanted to imagine that from the stars shining high up above Peter watched them with a big smile on his face.

/

Peter left Tony with the taunting task of trying to be worthy of the hero-like mental image the kid had of him. He thought, and thought, to a point of near-insanity. Until a crazy idea that felt just right occurred to him.

Tony asked for countless of people's stamp of approval. Bustled around with an equally excited May to get the practical part of the plan done. Then contacted the media. Because it was time to put the unwanted attention constantly directed at him to good use.

All the cameras aimed at his face, hungry for an emotional reaction, made Tony shiver from disgust. The incredible amount of kids, parents and medical professionals staring at him didn't make him any less nervous. But the feel of Pepper right beside him and Friday in his pocket was enough to usher him forward. "Three months ago…" He cleared his throat when his voice threatened to break. "Three months ago this world lost someone amazing. The two things I'm about to reveal today… They're not only to honor him, but to honor every child and their families who have been fighting at this ward and similar ones all over the world." He looked down to get a hold of his emotions. "Just recently I got a tiny, brief picture of the emotional turmoil they go through. And… They deserve all the help they can get. That's why I will not only continue with the donations to this ward. I've also opened a new foundation that aims to support children and their families during the worst times of their lives." Excited murmuring took over the crowd and he had to raise his feeble voice to be heard. His tone held none of its usual arrogance. "It's not like I'd imagine that I can save the world. But… If I can help at least a couple of families in need… I think it'd make one special Space Traveler happy."

The cheers and applauds were thunderous. And all the flashes of cameras blinded him for a moment. Tony was a little shocked to realize that it didn't bother him. For the first time in… forever, maybe, he felt completely at peace. Absolutely certain that he was doing the right thing.

Tony went on once the ruckus silenced. "The second thing is a lot smaller. But maybe it'll make a few people happy, too." He nodded towards Pepper, whose other hand was on a sheet covering something. "This… is for all the special young heroes who have been fighting here."

The sheet fell. Revealing a copy of almost each and every photograph Peter had taken attached to the hallway's wall. Of far too many children to count. Put together, they formed three massive words.

'I WAS HERE'

/

Watching the whole thing from a TV, Bruce smiled, some moisture filling his eyes. Natasha, who was sitting beside him, grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze of support. When he glanced towards her she shrugged and looked back like nothing had happened. Her fingers squeezed tighter.

Stood by the room's doorway, Clint emitted a brief chuckle. "I can't believe he really did it…!" The man sounded impressed, and just a tiny bit emotional.

Natasha shrugged. "And I can't believe you and Laura bought this farm. People do insane things sometimes."

Another woman laughed. "They do", Laura Barton affirmed. She gave Clint's cheek a tender kiss before leaning her head on his shoulder. A gentle finger caressed the golden band around his left ring finger. "With no regrets."

Clint closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. "No regrets", he swore in a whisper, so quiet that it was for his wife's ears alone.

/

Back at the hospital Tony had long since stopped paying attention to the cameras. He gave Pepper a brief kiss, then turned his gaze towards where May stood. She smiled and nodded in a sign of approval, her eyes shining from tears.

Many of the parents and children were inspecting the pictures. Including a dark-haired man who had a very adorable, dark-haired girl sitting on his shoulders. "See that, Cassie? There's one of you. Peter took it when you had that really bad stomach ache, remember?"

Just then the strangest feeling overcame Tony. It was like the brush of a hand, or a tug. He turned his head with a frown of confusion and felt his heart thud.

Behind the crowd stood a beyond familiar ghost, an equally familiar smile on his face. One of Peter's transparent hands cradled a camera affectionately. The other gave him a wave. The words echoed in Tony's head, even if the trick of imagination couldn't speak. 'Bye, Mr. Stark!' Then the boy turned, began to run and disappeared.

The smile forming despite rolling tears was a genuine one. Tony's voice was barely audible. "Bye, kid", he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye, little Space Traveler! (sniffles) So, thus closes this EMOTIONAL chapter. Maybe everyone is starting to move on?  
> Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me know! Hearing from you ALWAYS makes my day. Ya know, just saying... (whistles innocently)  
> AS A SIDE-NOTE… You may have noticed that during this story Tony went through the five stages of grief. (Starting with denial and bargaining, then moving on to anger at around Bruce's arrival, and finally on to depression and acceptance.) I didn't expect some of you readers to take those five steps, too! This has been quite the journey, huh?  
> Until the next and (I can't believe I'm typing this!) last time (for this story, anyway - more of that with the next chapter)! I REALLY hope that you'll all join in for the closure.  
> Take care, and give every Peter (and Tony) you know a hug!


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years have passed by. How have the people Peter was forced to leave behind moved on? On a special day their thoughts are with their special Space Traveler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here, guys! The final chapter. I can't believe it, either. (chuckles breathlessly) It's been such an amazing, emotional ride!  
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all those comments, listings and adoration! Peter is DEFINITELY something special, no wonder so many of you love him so! It's been nice to notice that you've adored this tale as well. (HUGS)  
> Awkay... Are you ready? I really hope so, because here we go! I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy this conclusion!

Time passed by, as it tends to do without asking for a permission. Days… Weeks… Months… Years… Until the day dawned when Peter would've turned sixteen.

The memories had begun to fade. But someone like Peter Parker couldn't possibly disappear into the sands of time entirely. Tony's charity foundation, which carried the child's name, made sure of that. As did the photograph-collection on the hospital's wall. Over the years it'd grown exponentially when new children and their families wanted to include their snapshot. The legend of the boy who started it lived on.

And those adults, as well as kids, who got the chance to know Peter… How were they supposed to forget a boy who helped them as much as or even more than they helped him? That early morning Bruce felt a wave of warmth and melancholia while he looked at the collection.

It was a long and far from easy process. But Bruce stayed. He managed to start working at the hospital again. By some miracle Natasha was able to forgive him, and three years after his return from India they got married again. Less than a year more passed by before they encountered the greatest miracle of their lives.

A girl named Liz was found by Natasha and Clint after a car crash and rushed to the hospital. The accident claimed her mom's life when she leaned to shield her daughter. Her father had been sentenced to a life in prison not much earlier. The rest of her relatives wanted nothing to do with her, which meant that she had no one. She wasn't Bruce's patient but he ran into her accidentally, much like Tony met Peter for the first time. And the second they locked eyes Bruce knew that this was the child he and Natasha had been waiting for. (Which didn't make Gemini Constellation tattooed on his wrist, or the twins it honored, any less special.) They didn't know that she was Peter's Liz until much later, when they found a picture that had both kids on it.

"You led us to each other, didn't you?" Bruce whispered to a picture where Peter smiled radiantly. He was a man of science and rationality. But he really, truly wanted to believe that. And whether it was true or not, the fact stood that it was thanks to the little boy he ever came back home. He was more grateful for that gift than he'd ever be able to put into words.

"I thought you might stop by." May's voice, soft and sad, startled him. She stood beside him, also looking at the photos with a heartbreaking amount of longing. For a few years already she'd worked as a nurse but today was a day off. (There was no way she would've been able to concentrate on work.) "Tony stopped by earlier."

Bruce nodded, not quite sure what to say.

He pretended that he didn't notice how May wiped her eyes. She cleared her throat before continuing. "You're coming to the party today, right?"

"Of course." Bruce emitted a brief chuckle. "Though I'm a bit scared of Tony being the one who planned the whole thing."

May laughed. As short-lived as the sound was, it felt good to see that she could manage that much, even on an emotional day like this. "Oh, I know. I feel like checking my insurance policy." That was when her phone received a message. There was no misreading the look that appeared to her face when she read it. It was from someone special. If anyone was able to make her eyes light up today, only for a moment, it had to be special. Even someone with Bruce's lack of social skills knew as much. "So…" He couldn't resist the temptation. "Who is he?"

May's pale cheeks colored just a little bit. Light shone again in her exhausted eyes, which were surrounded by dark circles. "You're not telling Tony, or even Nat, got it? But… I've been dating this guy for a few months, now. We met at our therapist's office and… Well, it definitely wasn't an ideal or romantic start, but…" She shook her head, seeming embarrassed. "I'm rambling. Ben… He always said that it's adorable when I ramble." A shadow crossed her face, as though thinking about this mystery-man and her late husband simultaneously pained her. She cleared her throat. "His name's Stephen. He was a neurosurgeon until a car accident damaged his hands."

Bruce stared, his eyes widening steadily. "You mean… Stephen? As in, Stephen Strange?" He shook his head in utter bafflement. "I'm… his biggest fan. He's a genius!"

May snorted. "Oh, he knows." She breathed several times, once again focused on the pictures. "He's… a piece of work sometimes. But… I think Pete would've liked him."

"He does like him", Bruce agreed. He went on at the confused look his comment earned. "This is gonna sound stupid, but… I don't think Peter would lead us to people he doesn't approve."

His words made May smile through nearly spilling tears.

/

At Stark Tower four teenagers were just taking their leave. Two of them were openly overjoyed, one tried her hardest to hide how excited she was and the fourth seethed visibly. While Ned and Liz chattered enthusiastically MJ shot a glare at Flash, who was clearly sulking. "You're pissed, I get it. But you can't just yell stuff like that at Mr. Stark!"

Flash's eyes narrowed. "You guys do get that you were only picked for the program because Stark feels sorry for you, right? You're just a bunch of losers who spent time at a hospital when you were brats." The boy focused on Liz. "And you…! Your dad tried to steal stuff from Stark and killed a couple of people. I don't know what the hell Stark's thinking, choosing you." MJ was the frustrated wrath's final target. "You were definitely picked because you're so pathetic. Your dad drank himself to death and your mom left. The only person who's ever given a damn about you is some nurse."

MJ's eyes blazed hellfire before she pushed the boy, almost hard enough to make him fall down. "Sharon left her job because she wants to be my mom so much!" she hissed. "I have a mom who loves me, now. Liz has two parents who love her. And Ned's the smartest person I know. You call that being a loser? Then… You know what? We're happy being losers." She gestured for Liz and Ned to follow her. "C'mon, let's go. We've got better stuff to do than waste our time on him."

So the three friends walked, and wheeled, away. Leaving Flash behind humiliated and steaming. They were surprised to find Tony Stark waiting for them outside. The billionaire offered them a grin and a shrug. "I owe you Three Musketeers a favor for defending my honor. How about I give you all a ride home?"

The drive was full of thoughtful silence. Excluding Liz they were all entirely too aware of what day it was, and the kids still processed Flash's words. "You do know that Flash is a jerk, don't you? And totally wrong?" Tony offered the trio a rare, genuine smile. "I picked you three for the trainee-program because you're the best. And now I know that I made the right call."

The words seemed to do the trick. Liz smiled. Ned positively beamed, like the sunshine outside the car. Even MJ couldn't stop one corner of her lips from twitching.

They reached Liz's house first. Shortly afterwards MJ noticed a tiny bulge on Ned's coat she'd paid no attention to before. She frowned and poked to find something solid. "What's that?"

Ned shuddered. "Just… something I needed along today." The boy was clearly embarrassed. "It's totally stupid."

MJ scoffed. "You're stupid if you think so." Her eyes sparkled with genuine curiosity. "Can I see? Please?"

The shocking, rare word worked like magic. Slowly, unfolding a great treasure, Ned pulled out a small, adorable robot. The boy's eyes weren't entirely dry while he shrugged and swallowed thickly. "I've had it for years. May said that Pete wanted me to have it for a Birthday present, so I'd look after it. She gave it to me on my first Birthday after Pete's…" The teenager couldn't say the final word. Instead he composed himself the best as he could. "It's called Jarvis." The boy didn't mention that May also said that the tiny robot was Peter's most cherished possession, and should be treated accordingly. He didn't want to make MJ feel sad or jealous, especially today.

Apparently that didn't work out very well. Because grief was heavy in MJ's eyes when she stared at the item, her mind obviously somewhere far away. "Gotta admit that it's pretty cool", she acknowledged.

"Wanna come over and see how it works?" Ned offered. Because he really wanted to make her feel better. "And, we could put together that new 'Star Wars' Lego set…"

MJ's nose wrinkled. "Legos are for kids. But…" She nodded towards Jarvis and pushed a strand of long, pink-dyed hair from her eyes. "I'd really wanna see how awesome that is."

Neither teenager noticed how pale Tony had gotten behind the wheel. Or how badly the billionaire was trembling. The man cleared his throat. "So… Just one address for the pair of you? Super. Because I've gotta go and pick up a princess."

MJ and Ned exchanged a curious look. By then they'd already reached Ned's apartment building. The boy's brows furrowed when he finally began to realize that Tony was also feeling the day's weight. "Do you… wanna come over, too?" he invited hesitantly while settling to his chair.

"Thanks, but… Raincheck?" Tony shrugged. The grin on his face didn't seem genuine. "You know… I've got stuff to do, places to go. The life of a genius billionaire is busy." He winked. "See you later. Don't be late." And with those words he left.

Ned stared at the car driving away. The boy gulped. "I'm scared."

MJ snorted and rolled her eyes. "Don't be wuss. It's gonna be something brilliant."

/

Ned and MJ spent over half an hour exploring the robot. Until something curious happened. They succeeded in triggering its fifth and final form. A spider. Two pairs of huge, fascinated eyes stared while a tiny present, clearly wrapped by a child, fell out. 'For MJ' announced the note attached to it.

MJ's hands shook when she took the gift and opened the wrappings. Her welled up without her noticing it as the contents became revealed. A tiny, wounded whimper slipped past her lips before she slapped her hand to her mouth.

The present was a very cute ring. Fake-golden with a pink stone. A note had been attached to it, written in Peter's messy handwriting. 'If I'd ever had the chance to marry anyone it would've been you. I would've asked you with a ring like this. Because I really like you. Don't be sad when you remember me. You'll find someone else you want to marry when you're all grown up. Just don't be mean to people, because you can be nice when you want to be. Look after Ned for me, and Jarvis, too.'

Ned sounded choked up when he whispered. "Pete… He knew that we'd still be friends…"

MJ couldn't hear him. She hated the way her heart thundered and broke when she made her decision and slipped the childish gift to her left ring-finger. "I don't wanna find someone else", she muttered petulantly. She growled the second she caught Ned's lips threatening to part. "Shut up."

Ned did. Because he could tell that she needed quiet time, now. He didn't have the heart to tease her about the single tear running down her cheek.

/

A pair of curious and confused eyes looked around while a dad and daughter pair made their way through a cemetery. A frown appeared to the child's forehead. "This isn't where grandma and grandpa are buried", she pointed out.

Tony swallowed thickly. He hadn't visited this cemetery in years but finding the grave he wanted to see wasn't the problem. Mustering the strength and courage to get to it turned out to be a challenge. "We're… not visiting them today", he explained and didn't sound even the slightest bit like himself.

"Oh?" Penelope Stark, who was sitting on his shoulders, frowned again. Wind played with her long hair, which had color identical to his, while her eyes, which were definitely inherited from Pepper, became thoughtful. "Then who?"

That was when they reached the grave. It was beautiful and maintained to perfection. A tombstone made of white marble shone surreally when sunlight touched it. Tony couldn't look away from the words and numbers engraved to it, no matter how much he wanted to.

'Peter Parker,

Our little star'

Seeing Peter's name on the stone and remembering the bubbly child he once got to embrace was even more painful than seeing the short timespan between the two dates. Many years had passed by but the taste of injustice and grief was still bitter on the billionaire's tongue.

But Peter wouldn't have wanted the bitterness. Or the anger. So Tony gulped again, fought a war past the lump in his throat. "Mommy and I… We've never told you who inspired your name, have we? Years ago… There was this amazing kid. Almost as amazing as you. I tried to help him, but…" His voice broke and he had to wait for a while before continuing. "Honestly? I think he helped me more." If it wasn't for Peter he wouldn't have at least four of the friends he did now. (Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Laura… Would he have ever even met them?) He would've never decided to do as much charity work as he did now. He most certainly wouldn't have had the courage and confidence to become a proper dad, and he almost definitely would've ended up losing Pepper at some point. Thanks to Peter he'd become the kind of a man he could be proud of.

Penelope pursed her lips, thoughtful. "Mommy… She says that we only get to have a handful of people who…" She fumbled, the words almost too big and difficult for her child's mind to understand. "… make us the people we are. Was he one of yours?"

Tony's eyes began to sting and grow blurry. He had to blink several times. "Yeah, Penny. He was. Just like you, mommy, grandma and grandpa." He tickled her bare foot, making her giggle. "You're my handful. And I'm so, so lucky that I have you all, right here." He tapped at his chest.

Penelope gave his cheek a kiss. Clearly sensing how much he needed it. "Daddy? Can I give him a present? I mean… It's his Birthday and everything."

Tony blinked twice, confused. Then nodded slowly before placing her gently to the ground. She searched through her pockets and panicked for a moment before a radiant smile appeared. The billionaire watched with utter bafflement how his daughter scattered some golden glitter to the grave.

Penelope obviously sensed his confusion and smiled. "It's stardust, daddy", she explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I was supposed to save it for art class, but… I think he likes it."

It seemed that she wasn't mistaken. Because just then a warm, tender breath of wind picked up. It whirled around the glitter, spreading it all over the grave. Soon the substance shone like diamonds on the petals of the roses someone, most likely May, had brought.

Tony wiped his eyes just swiftly enough to avoid her noticing. "See that, Penny? It's Pete saying 'thank you'."

Penelope's smile widened. She looked towards the sky and waved. "Hi, Pete! And… Thank you, for helping daddy."

Another warm gust wrapped around them. Embracing them as much as it seemed to be ushering them forward. Tony could've sworn that for just a couple of seconds he felt Peter's arms wrapped around him.

/

Soon the beautiful but heartbreaking day was coming to an end. After dark had already fallen seven people gathered to the rooftop where Peter once got to spend a magical fake-Birthday. Tony felt a little guilty for how tightly he was squeezing Pepper's hand but if the look on her face was any indication she didn't mind.

"Nat wanted to come, too", Bruce explained. "But Liz… got a call from her birth-father." Those were always crushing on the poor girl. "One of us needed to stay with her."

May smiled faintly and wiped her eyes. "You know… I'm pretty sure that if Pete was here, he'd understand."

That was when the two teenagers present noticed what Tony had brought. Ned's eyes, which were suspiciously red and puffy, widened. "Are those… fireworks? Mr. Stark, that's like… like super cool!"

MJ's eyes were moist but sparkled in a manner that promised trouble. "I love fireworks! Can I light one?"

Tony snorted. "Ha, ha, kid. Good joke. Try again when you're old enough to buy your own alcohol."

MJ scoffed and rolled her eyes theatrically. But she didn't continue fighting. The years Sharon Carter had spent raising and loving her had done miracles. And she knew that today was supposed to be about Peter.

"Light them, daddy!" Penelope cheered from beside Pepper. "Make them so bright that Pete sees them!"

Which was exactly what Tony aimed to do. "Yes, ma'am", he managed despite the lump forming rapidly into his throat. He took a deep, steadying breath. The weight of Friday-the-robot, which never left its spot close to his heart, gave him the push he needed. This is for you, Space Traveler…, he mused affectionately. "Okay, people. On three. One… Two… Three…"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETER!" everyone hollered, as loudly as they could manage.

And so the rockets were lit. In a flash a breathtaking amount of noise, light and colors burst out, painting the sky in a way that would've filled any artist with envy. On the street below a large crowd gathered to admire the sight. The people on the rooftop didn't notice or care. Tony recognized that night's magic as similar to the one he experienced on the night they celebrated his and Pepper's wedding along with Peter's fake-Birthday. This was every little bit as beautiful and painful.

Pepper burst into tears. She pulled a beaming Penelope close, who fortunately didn't notice her mom's distress. May was crying as well while she mouthed words meant only for one person who couldn't be with them. Bruce wiped his eyes so subtly that no one noticed.

Ned's tear-filled eyes widened when MJ grabbed his hand. Forgetting the fireworks for a moment, he stared at their joined hands, then at her. "What…?"

"Shut up", she interrupted him sharply, and it was the second time he ever saw her really, properly cry.

Tony noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks. But he soon decided that he didn't care. Didn't he once tell a special little boy that if you've really loved someone, it's okay to cry sometimes when you remember them?

Tony watched the rockets lighting up the dark. And hoped from the bottom of his scarred but still strongly beating heart that they were bright enough to be seen from a certain star. So Peter would see how much he was still loved and know that he would always be remembered.

Because Tony would never, ever forget his Thursdays with Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh mine…! (sniffles) I still can't believe that this story is coming to an end! Feels like it only just got started.
> 
> A COUPLE OF TOTALLY RANDOM NOTES…
> 
> Just take a look at Peter's track-record! It was already stated in this chapter how much he did for Tony and Bruce. But the list goes on. How adorable is it that he also sort of set up May to Stephen, enabled Clint getting a much-needed friend in Tony AND is still trying to help Ned and MJ? That kid sure is (oh no, was…) something else! (smiles fondly)
> 
> The title of this story was inspired by a book named 'Tuesdays with Morrie'. And I got a boost of inspiration for this from a Finnish song that tells about a child dying of heart problems. (Yeah, in case you haven't noticed by now, I'm addicted to sad stuff, LOL.)
> 
> My head typed this story from the end to the beginning. I saw the ending – Peter's death-scene and the 'I WAS HERE' wall – first.
> 
> AS FOR MY FUTURE PROJECT… Quite soon I'll start a new story named 'Home for Christmas'. The typing process is already ongoing, so the first chapter will be published this Thursday or next Monday. Summary: Tony Stark's luxurious but empty life changes forever when he literally runs into a homeless boy named Peter. Will he be able to and willing to help? And will Peter make it home for Christmas? (TRIGGER WARNING for non-graphicly described child abuse and domestic abuse) Anyone feeling like reading…?
> 
> BUT, for now… You guys, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart and soul, for sticking through this EMOTIONAL journey! For all the reviews, listings and love you've given this tale. It makes me happier than I can put into words that you enjoyed this story AND love Peter so much! (BEAMS, and HUGS)
> 
> Who knows. Maybe I'll see you around again. For now…
> 
> Take care, of yourselves and all the Peters of this world!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Aaaaw! Peter and his camera. It’s okay, Tony, it’s only human to have a soft spot for that kid. (smiles fondly) Poor thing, though. (whimpers)  
> (In case you’re wondering why Tony and Peter haven’t met earlier, there IS a reason.)  
> SOOOO… How was that? Any good at all? Would you like to read more? PLEASE, do let me know! I’d LOVE to hear from you, especially at this kick-starting phase of the story.  
> In any case, thank you so much for reading! Maybe I’ll see ya again one day.  
> Take care!


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